I never normally use these forums. I usually just read other peoples. Anyway…I just recently got engaged a few months ago and have set a wedding date for this summer. During this past summer I had a brief affair with a co-worker who has a girlfriend that he’s been with for 3 or 4 years now. It was an awful thing to do and incredibly selfish. We talked it out and I told my SO that I would not be speaking to this guy anymore. We got engaged and things were moving in the right direction. This guy at work has been slowly creeping back into my life and I’ve let him under the condition that he understands we are just friends. Well he wanted to go out after work the other night and we went for a few drinks and appetizers and had the absolute best time ever. I felt like it was summer again. He makes me smile and laugh and feel young and excited and like electric. We kissed in the parking lot which I know I should never have done and we hugged for so long. I immediately got in my car and sobbed the entire way home. I really think I love him and I have been falling in love with him all along. But I don’t want to leave my finacee because I love him dearly too and we have a nice life together. I can see the future with him. I don’t think I can envision my life without my fiancee but I’m also having these insane feelings for someone else. I am sick to my stomach about this….please help. I need some serious guidance. I just want to runaway from life for a little while.