So where do I begin? I posted on here a few months ago and seem to have gone backwards. I left my partner of 9 years as our relationship became a friendship. Started dating another guy way too soon and a few weeks before Christmas I found he was texting his ex. Telling her she was beautiful, that he didn’t have a girlfriend and that he wanted to meet up with her. He even messaged her whilst I was lying in bed next to him. He begged me to forgive him and promised me that he would do anything to gain my trust. 2 and half months later and all he did was push me away. Ive lived in a state or paraniod, anxious state for 2 months. Ive stopped sleeping and have lost so much weight. My heart hasn’t caught up with my head because I wake up in the night crying overy what we have lost. Why is it when we break up with someone we always remember the good and not the reason we broke up with them in the first place. I was so desperate to make it work so i wouldnt be lonely. But i just couldnt take it anymore. So I’ve ended it.

So in the last 7 months I have dealt with 2 break ups, my grandfather being admitted to hospital and who is deterioting because he cant breath out so is getting monoxide poisoning, my ex partner of 9 years wanting to sell the house but get rid of our 15 year old cats because his new partner daughter is allergic, living on my own for the first time in 34 years, my job is extremely stressful and my colleague is leaving on Tuesday and I have to take on all her work whilst we look for her replacement. The person I work for is constantly undermining me and going over my head, and treats me like I am poo under her shoe. And to top it all off I haven’t slept properly in 2 months and especially the last 2 weeks. I don’t know how to cope. I don’t know how to work through everything. I don’t know how to find myself.

Everytime I feel like I’m getting a bit stronger, accepting what life had thrown at me – life kicks me back down again. I am physically and emotionally exhausted and I don’t know how to move on. The new guy I have just ended it with has destroyed me. I’ve lost all trust in myself, I feel like I have been taken for a fool and I just don’t know how to deal with everything life is throwing at me.

Help please