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  • #41219
    ryan
    Participant

    hi this is my first article. i am in a relationship for the past one year. it was all going really good, there were many jealous eyes but we came past all that and our main strength was we were always together, there for each other.but recently problems have started to creep up we keep fighting its like it takes a fight and some time to understand how silly the fight was.the main problem is even before we got like together ,that is when we knew we both loved each other she was like she couldn’t do it coz at the end (of college) she will have to leave me coz she just can’t oppose her parents..they are very very orthodox. but then within a week even she said she loved me and let’s forget about all that stuff and be together now..so since then we have grown on each other like and were we constantly miss each other. when i miss her i tend to wait painfully till we meet whereas she starts thinking a lot and just gets mood out or sort i think that leads to fights….and now she always kinda tells me after college (we have some 7 months left) we should stop just everything..i have said okay..but i’m still keeping my hopes high by the end of 7 months i will be able convince her that your life and for our we can convince our parents!! but suddenly out of blue she has sad she is applying for this foreign exchange program where the entire last semester is gone…it was such a shock when she told me this..she knew i was hurt and she keeps telling me don’t worry i won’t get it..but if i don’t even try for the program and see i will be angry with myself! since then this has been constantly nagging what if she gets it what if she goes..i mean its like everything suddenly seems meaningless..i know i love her..and she loves me..but this situation is really worrying me..i really don’t know what to do!!

    #41243
    ryan
    Participant

    can anyone please reply..

    #41264
    Matt
    Participant

    Ryan,

    I’m sorry for your worries, I know how distressing it can be to have anxiety. Its sounds to me like you are far more invested than she is in the intimacy. I hesitated to respond, because it sounded like you wanted help in figuring out a way to keep her, but that doesn’t seem to be what she wants.

    Sometimes we just have to accept that a romance is like a flower blooming, and it is beautiful while its open, but will fade in time. She sounds like she’s been clear with you, and yet you don’t want to hear what she is saying, don’t want to accept her moving on.

    Consider getting out and following some of your interests. There are usually many groups on campuses, and perhaps you would do well to pursue some other sources of happiness. Namaste.

    With warmth,
    Matt

    #41317
    ryan
    Participant

    thank you

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