November 1, 2013 at 9:11 am #44726pocotouroParticipant
hi all, just hoping for some guidance. i find myself in a difficult place. several years ago i dated a woman who i was madly in love with. i had so much fun being with her and her children. she was kind and compassionate. i truly never felt so close to someone. however, she was going through a divorce and was struggling to find herself. she had been a stay at home mom and now she was facing many changes.
she was going back to beauty school and trying to establish a career. she was on her own for the first time having married her high school sweetheart.
and although i wanted to spend forever with her, i felt she was unsure and needed time and space to feel confident. i wanted her to want me because she chose to and not because she needed to. so i left her go.
this has been a year and a half.
during this time i have started dating another woman who is very sweet. very kind. she is considerate she is a teacher. no children. she has never been married. she really is an amazing caring and loving person. yet in spite of this all i have never stopped caring and missing my ex.
i shared this with my current girlfriend because i feel she has the right to know. we’ve been together over a year and i have never told her i love her. i tell her i care deeply for her and she is a great girlfriend but that i feel it is unfair to say the word love when my heart feels divided.
i know that my ex misses me and would like to be back with me as well. i feel so confused.
i don’t know if i am struggling to let go or if i should acknowledge the fact i miss her so badly.
i dont want to hurt my current girlfriend. she has done nothing to deserve anything but the best. i know i care for her but i feel as if im cheating her by having mixed feelings.
i honestly dont know what to do in order to honor everyone. any advice is appreciated. i dont want to continue hurting others and i want to find my sense of peace. thanks all.November 1, 2013 at 2:16 pm #44751SkylarkParticipant
I think you need to move away from both relationships and possible look inside and see what you truly need.
These videos by Mooji may help,
Goodluck! 🙂November 1, 2013 at 7:19 pm #44760MacintoshParticipant
It is unfair to your current gf because if the ex comes looking for you, wants you back, you will break up with gf and go back to ex immediately.
Set your gf free so she can find another man who will love only her. You love her but it seems you’re not “in love” with her enough to rid of your feelings for your ex. It is obvious you’re not over your ex, not by a long shot.
Wish you peace and am happy that you have been honest with her. Some men wouldn’t feel bad or guilty.
I do agree being on your own might help you see that there are reasons why you and your ex are not together and it’s been nearly 2 years and she is not back in your life so that does say something, doesn’t it? Has she made any contact in this 1 1/2 years? if no, then chances are she’s moved on. Was she divorcing as you two just got together or were you two involved while she was still married?