April 4, 2013 at 9:27 am #30495Mindy CraryParticipant
Hi, I’m curious to hear from people who have experiences money challenges and how they are dealing with them. What coping methods are you using, mental, emotional, practical, or something else?April 6, 2013 at 7:06 am #31291William DaviesParticipant
Awhile ago my main focus was purely on where I wanted to be and not where I was, I wanted to get out of the life I was living so badly.
I mean eating instant noodles everyday because you can’t afford real food isn’t where I wanted to be. I learnt something that really helped me focus on the now, and that was keeping a gratitude journal.
You’ve probably heard of this before, but focusing on the things that you don’t like in your life actually happens to attract more of it. Shifting my focus onto things that I did have, things like my health, family,friends and a beating heart that thankfully has never stopped since in the womb helped me keep a positive and hopeful mind.
Also I try and keep myself busy with my website, I read, I watch videos and listen to audios to improve myself every single day.
Eventually your eyes will be open to a whole new world of opportunities, ones that you might not have recognized if you were in a negative frame of mind.
Much like when you get a new car or a new pair of shoes and all of a sudden you just happen to notice that everyone has the same car. The cars were there the whole time you just didn’t notice them, it’s just a conscious shift. 🙂April 12, 2013 at 10:47 am #33765MaggieParticipant
This is a very personal topic for me; I’m both anxious to help and hesitant to share. To make it easier on myself, I’ll start in a very vague place:
A few years ago my husband and I found ourselves on the brink of financial ruin. We were looking for a house (either a short sale or a foreclosure – something cheap!), living in my aunt’s basement, my husband was looking for a job and he ended up accepting a third shift position as maintenance at a nursing home. Things were bleak.
We looked at a lot of houses that we COULD afford, but did we need that expense? In the end, we decided on a house half the size of some of the others. We didn’t need an office or formal living and dining room; what we needed was to save money.
Next, I opened multiple bank accounts. I opened a Holiday Account and set up direct deposit so I would have money to shop come November when the sales start. I opened a Vacation Account because even though you’re paying down debt, you need to be kind to yourself and your family. There was no direct deposit for this account, though. I just squirreled away what I could. I then opened a savings account that didn’t have a debit card attached to it. This was in addition to the usual savings you probably have tied to checking.
After that, we modified our habits. I started lightly couponing.I don’t get multiple papers but I do ask my family members to keep their coupon packets when they finish clipping what they use. Maybe we don’t use the same stuff! I save a couple hundred a year this way. I also TRY (when I remember) to take advantage of my grocery store’s fuel perk and gift card programs. This deserves its own post so I won’t elaborate.
I struggle with not going overboard on keeping hold of the purse strings. My husband keeps me in check by reminding me that nobody wanted to live with Scrooge McDuck. This was a hard lesson for me, but his personality balances mine well.April 12, 2013 at 12:47 pm #33767Marilyn Briant-RockmoreParticipant
Its hard for me to believe that we have all not been in a similar situation to you Maggie. In fact my younger sister was in a terrible place a year or so ago and I spent a lot of time talking with her. Almost penniless and out of work, she truly believed she and her husband would be on the street, with debtors following their every move to try and regain some of their losses.
We discussed over and over again, the law of attraction– what you focus on you create. If you are grateful for all that you have (she was still in her own home, still healthy and able to go back to nursing, still able to put food on the table)–you will attract more of the same. If you dwell on what you lack, yes, you continue to lack! Living in the moment and appreciating that you have all you need and want enables you to change your thoughts and create all you want and need.
My sister is still in her own home, now has a good paying job, has worked out a debt repayment scheme and expects life to continually improve, which it seems to be doing. It really is as simple as internalizing “what you believe is true, is true”. If you leave the past where it belongs and believe life is good, I am positive it will be…April 15, 2013 at 3:47 am #33838GuyParticipant
What got me out of debt was negotiating a monthly payment that was attainable for me. I found myself a job that paid enough, which still was an average salary. I automated all the payments and stuck to my budget. I didn’t have much money left to ‘live’, so shopping and vacations were out of the question for a quite some time. But The little bit of money I did manage to set aside went completely to ‘having fun’. Even though I was in debt, I enjoyed life. The automated payments helped me to no longer have to focus on or even think about my debt. I almost completely forgot about it. It was actually a very nice experience to not have any money. It showed me who my real friends were, it made me realize that you don’t need things to be happy.
Where you put your focus also makes a lot of difference. IF you choose to be unhappy because of your debt, you are allowing it to define the quality of your life. I focused on the abundance of positive things in my life. I went back to school for about a year and started my own business after that. All while I was still paying of my debt. I could have let it get me down, but instead I chose to make it a wonderful journey.April 18, 2013 at 10:16 am #33996April V. WheelerParticipant
This is exactly where I am now. I moved countries to be with my boyfriend (I am French, but I was living in Ireland during three years, and he moved to London to get a job), and I never found a good job because I don’t have to relevant qualification yet. I struggle with money, my parents are able to help me sometimes but they also have their own problems and I feel very guilty to be a burden for them, even though they always make me feel good about needing help.
My only income is private tuitions in French, it’s not very interesting and it doesn’t pay much. Also, I have a different income each month as it depends on how many students take classes with me. I usually have enough to pay the rent, pay for transport… and that’s it really. My boyfriend works part-time and is in a similar situation.
What I find helpful, as I get very, very anxious about it, is to make lists of projects, constantly.
Instead of using my anxiety as an excuse to do nothing, I use it when I need a push.
When I feel lazy and worried and tired and completely depressed… I just tell myself that I don’t want that life anymore, and that change won’t come out of the blue. There are positive things out there and I have to get up and get them. I can’t afford to feel sorry for myself too long because I need to actually act and make a change in my life.
This is what gives me the energy to apply for training programmes to have a better qualification, this is what gives me the energy to give more tuitions even though I am also working in a dissertation in literature, this is what gives me strenght to get up and do things instead of “just” worrying about the future.
I use it as a push. I have a lot of hope that somehow, someday, things will be a bit easier on me 🙂