I’ve been through my share of dating woes but these last few months take the cake.  After a 2 year roller coaster ride relationship I had finally decided to let go and move forward.  A few weeks later, there he was.  I had seen him around from time to time over the last last couple years and was always attracted to his charisma and smile.  But I knew nothing about him.  A mutual friend decided to formally introduce us and it was like lightning struck us.  We were inseparable from that point on.

Within the first few weeks people were trying to interfere, women who were jealous of our happiness and wanted to break us up.  A couple of these women said he is still married and living with his wife and daughter.  I immediately approached him to ask if it was true, and if so this was over between us.  He proceeded to tell me he had been divorced for 5 years but he keeps his life very private and was ashamed of divorce.  I asked him to show me his divorce papers and he promised he would.

We were so happy together, it seemed we were made for each other.  Deep conversations, great communication, he was a complete gentleman, and we had a blast out together with all of our friends, as well as just the two of us.  I truly thought he was the one.  But more question marks:  he would never stay the night and I never went to his house.  He believed not to introduce kids until there was an engagement, he would not allow public pictures of him with me on social media because his “profession required privacy.”  Turns out he had justified every question, and put it to rest each time I questioned.  Especially the pictures issue, because when I had posted a pic early on, someone actually contacted me on FB asking if I knew how to reach my boyfriend.  So I had no reason not to believe him.

After almost 5 months something went wrong…he turned off to me like a switch, broke it off via text message and never heard from him for days.  Until I saw him…with his ex girlfriend. I approached him and he was short and vague with me, avoiding any eye contact with me.  I have since found out he was indeed married and living with his wife and child, and the ex girlfriend knows this and is ok with it.  She has been with him off and on for 6 years, hoping he’ll someday divorce his wife.  I’m in disbelief as to how someone could keep up this facade for so long, and why he would do this to another human being.  He even had that FB message fabricated to back up his lie, as well as so many other lies he made to seem true.  I know it’s for the best I found out now rather than years later, but it’s hard knowing the last few months of my life spent with him were I lie.  And how I will ever fully trust – and love – again.  Any thoughts and suggestions would be greatly appreciated.