April 19, 2019 at 9:40 am #289703Lilly LincolnParticipant
So, I’ve been this insecure type of girl. I’m always afraid of being lonely. I’ve jumped from one relationship to another just because I’m scared of being alone. My past relationships had been awful because it involved with a lot of guys who never wanted serious relationships.
One day, my friend introduced me to this man. He seems perfect for me, and very different from any guy I’ve ever made. He had his own start-up business and very compassionate about his business too, he’s kind, he’s smart, family oriented guy, he’s charitable, you get me he’s got all the packages. I was smitten with him instantly. Although he told me he’s never been in a relationship before, we’ve made our relationship official just a month after knowing each other.
He’s never been the texting kind of guy, so there are even day when we didn’t contact each other. It drove me crazy of course but I kept thinking it didn’t matter, I wanted this relationship work so bad. And we’d always meet up during weekends. I met his family just a month after dating. It’s a good sign right? It meant he wanted to be serious with me.
With him, I’ve always wanted to be the best version of me because he always taught me to be kind to have compassion. He took care of me when I was sick, he cheered me up when I’m sad. I love that about him. I’ve always thought he’s the one, we’ll be together forever. But since the beginning of our relationship, I’ve had these red flags like why he rarely told me about his life, he never said he loves me or why he often ignored me when we’re with his family but I chose to ignore them. A few months later, I could feel him being distant. Then one day, he came to me and said he wanted to break up because in the past few months he’d been struggling to love me but he just couldn’t and he had been unhappy this past few weeks because he’s been doing all these things caring for me just out of obligation. He just didn’t see his future with me cause I didn’t bring the best out of him.
Now I’ve been struggling to move on and let him go. But some days are hard, I’ve always tempted to reach out to him and wanted to make things work. I’m also scared I’d never find anyone as good as him. I’m so confused right now.April 19, 2019 at 10:52 am #289783anitaParticipant
Dear Lilly Lincoln:
There is your issue, afraid of being alone, jumping from one relationship to the next and there is his issue- operating out of obligation, with his family members as well, I imagine, not only with you, not feeling emotional closeness with the people in his life.
These are two issues of two individuals going about their lives.
“he rarely told me about his life.. he often ignored me when we’re with his family”- would you like to tell me what he did tell you about his life and elaborate on what you observed when with him and his family members?
We can discuss his issue and yours, if you want.