Hi Kathlyn,

I can see that you feel very anxious about the next steps in your relationship and having a tough time dealing with uncertainty. I have been in a similar situation where my partner wanted to work things out and would say and do some very convincing acts to show me that they wanted to be with me (i.e. buying gifts, saying the right things). However, there would never be any direct actions that showed me that he was changing. In the end, I discovered that deep inside, he wasn’t ready to change and did not feel like he needed to. This is why everything stayed the same. We ended up parting because I realized I didn’t want to spend my life brushing things that were important to me under the rug and accepting that he was unwilling to change when his actions hurt me.

I hope you can decide for yourself if you are willing to let this partner go or whether you can see that there is a change in the way that they are treating you. Remember, if these things are important to you, someday you will realize that your values are worth more than tolerance.