At a certain point I realized I needed to focus on my feelings, my reactions, rather than try to psychoanalyze someone I barely knew, or thought I knew. This runs counter to my “let’s solve this issue” kind of mindset. I am learning that not everyone views the world in the same way, that things I take for granted (push and pull in a relationship, empathy, etc.) aren’t always in everyone’s toolkit. This doesn’t necessarily make them a bad person, nor is it healthy for me to go around blaming them for these lacks… but it does mean they are not people that are good for me, or that I need or should want in my life.
I am working on being more mindful which is a struggle for most but especially for anxious types, I believe.
I am learning to be patient and seeing what comes to me. This doesn’t mean I do nothing to better myself, but rather to be patient with the process (may it be slow or fast).
It takes a whole lot of work, persistence, and patience to learn how to live better, how to choose better.
It is important to be able to evaluate the people in our lives, and the people who want access to our lives, so to figure out if they are good for us or not (“This doesn’t necessarily make them a bad person… but it does mean they are not people that are good for me”).
It is also very important to know what we value in life, and therefore what it is that we want, so to have a better chance of getting what (and who) we need in our lives.