My sister

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    How do I handle this. My sister and me we have ten year age gap.  She has done everything before me and done well. My mother put a huge amount of effort into her, piano lessons she had it all. My mother even kept her room exactly the same until my sister was 30. I’ve felt second best and try to get some sort of recognition that I’m okay as well. It never happens.   So she’s getting married and superstar according to my mother. I’m still waiting to be asked and according to some will be a spinster the rest of my life. Anyway my sister has said I don’t care if you come or not.  That hurt. Would you go ? I think that’s the way she feels about me that I don’t matter. How can I move beyond feeling like the second best loser.  I grew up in a household of verbal physical violence so I think my self worth was low but my sister didn’t.  She hasn’t known that situation.


    Good day Peonyrose73, sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time.  I also have a sister, and felt that I was the “invisible” one, being she had humor and a much bigger personality than I did/do.  Now as I am older, I feel much better with the situation, as I am happy with who I am, and realize my sister has her own issues, as everyone does.   Personally, I would go to the wedding.  I know your sister said she didn’t care if you attended, but deep down, I bet she does.  Even if you went for the main portion, whilst telling yourself that you can leave whenever you want.  As you can.  Can I ask how old you are?  Are you on your own now?  I have to say that things got better for me when I moved out and found my own friends (like family).  Hopefully you will experience something similar, or just being around those that build you up is important.  Keep me/us posted, and I wish you peace.  x

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