December 18, 2013 at 9:50 pm #47001Shayne DsouzaParticipant
My situation is very weird. Somehow, love has never happened, well not to be confused in the literal sense, I’ve never found love till date. I do not know where I’m going wrong. Books, people will tell you do this, do that, nothing of that seems to work. Is that I am not lovable, not a good person. I really do not know what to do anymore. This situation is very weird. What is even more striking is that I told someone I love her , she was a good friend of mine, she’s now stopped talking to me since 4 yrs.December 19, 2013 at 7:43 am #47011MattParticipant
Without hearing more specifics, it is difficult to know what’s happening. A guess is perhaps you feel love is something we have to earn, rather than something we have to share. Many self help books and blogs and articles mention that we have to love ourselves first, but what does that even mean? Why is that true? Consider that as we share our love with one another, we inspire it in each other.
Consider self love much like a campfire. You sit next to it, tend it, and have light and warmth. Then, you meet a pretty woman, and instead of “will she love me”, you can invite her to rest by your fire. “Yes, here there is warmth and light. You are welcome to share this space with me if you wish to.” Said differently, “Yes, my heart is full of love and light. You are welcome to share.”
Something more specific would require a little more depth on your side. Feel free to share more of what happens along your path, friend!
MattDecember 19, 2013 at 9:33 pm #47147Shayne DsouzaParticipant
Thank You Matt,
The main problem is that each time I think I’ve found the right one ( we all have people we love). It never works out. I don’t even know why. I’ve heard those love yourself too, But then I want to give so much to someone and I cannot. It is really weird. I do not know what I am doing wrong. I’m at a stage in life when I do not know what to do. This problem is plaguing me to no end. I just cant find myself not being with anyone.December 20, 2013 at 9:30 pm #47258B.BellsParticipant
Hey I’m almost 40 , been married , been in all sort of different relationships before and after the marriage and never truly found love . Thought I had , boy did I ever , but nothing really panned out . But I am hopeful that one day it will happen . When I am exactly where I want to be in life (career-wise etc) and truly happy with myself it will happen . I believe in magic and I believe that love is the most beautiful , magical thing . Right now my focus is elsewhere (work) but who knows what can happen in the future . Just believe . Don’t worry , enjoy your life in other ways .