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My thoughts on my feelings stress me out

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  • January 4, 2018 at 11:06 pm #185143
    Patricia
    Participant

    In 2017 every aspect of my life was really low.

    I met my first boyfriend and I adored him so much. I still do, I’m still with him. Shortly after I started to be with him we hit a tiny bump in our relationship but for some reason my outlook on everything changed. I had become extremely depressed and I also think i may be emotionally detached. and it felt like i didn’t love him the same way I did which broke my heart. I would feel so confused and almost argue with myself in my head on how I really felt.

    I don’t want to leave him, I really want this man to be the love of my life. He is amazing and I truly care about him. I don’t want this to end or go anywhere and it hurts me to feel like I can’t feel any rushing emotions about him all through my body. I am sexually attracted to him, and company is delightful and I can sit in a room with him all day and we could just be quiet and i would be satisfied. He is truly my best friend.

    I want to be in love with him. I don’t want to hear that he wouldn’t be the one for me because I want to stay with him. Something feels wrong, not in the sense of being with him but in the sense of I can’t feel the way I want to feel about him. Which i know is there. In my heart I know I care about him and have love for him. this hurts me and confuses me and i want to settle away from this. Please let me know what you think! I just need opinions. I know there is no clear question.

    January 5, 2018 at 3:57 am #185161
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Patricia:

    I replied to your other thread four days ago. Maybe you didn’t read it? If you click on your user  name and then on “topic started” you will get to your previous thread and read my reply there, applicable here.

    anita

    January 5, 2018 at 5:26 am #185173
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Patricia,

    Maybe the “tiny bump” wasn’t as tiny as you thought. Sometimes people can inadvertently kill the love. If he disappointed you, called you names, etc. that could tarnish that “in love” feeling you used to experience.

    But even if he was perfectly perfect, we humans only experience that “in love” euphoria for about a year or so. Then it levels out into simply Love, which is real and longer lasting.

    Hope this helps!

    Inky

    January 5, 2018 at 7:59 am #185187
    Patricia
    Participant

    I know I posted something else but I had gotten so tensed up in the past two days that I needed to make something that was more questioning my thoughts instead. That other thread made me feel better to read what other people said.  Thanks!

    January 5, 2018 at 9:28 am #185213
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Patricia:

    You are welcome. Being as anxious as you are and have been for a long time, of course you want to feel better. As long as it is helpful for you to post, keep doing so here. To get a long term relief from your anxiety, in the context of this relationship and otherwise, you will need to… well, relax.

    To relax means to take more and more breaks from your overthinking brain, in such ways as aerobic exercise, yoga, meditation and such. Quality psychotherapy will be very helpful to you.

    There is work for you to do. Thinking this further while distressed will not work for you. This anxiety, this distress does not allow good thinking.

    So relax first, then think, maybe re-read and evaluate the replies you already received and may still receive.

    anita

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