Dear April,

The caste based situation is a sad reality that very much prevails even now and unless you people are very financially stable, absolutely sure of eachother and can prevail despite all the opposition, you will have to forget him and move on. Perhaps in the future when both of you have a lot of resources to convince both sides that you are indeed serious despite the basic difference according to them, then this will change. Be patient for now. This is a difficult road my dear and sometimes, if you arent careful, there could be bad consequences. I am sure you have read of some unfortunate consequences of these inter-caste marriages that happen despite opposition. Please weigh your options very carefully.

One and a half years in retrospect is a real short time to know someone enough for a life-time. If you can really brave this challenging situation together and he really wants to be with you, fight for you, then this is someone worth fighting for…Please think very carefully about what you do. Its easy to fall in love but marriage is another ball-game altogether. Give this lots of time and dont do anything hasty.

Thats all i can really say for now.

– Jess

Love is one thing. Proclaiming it and promising it is another. Delivering on that promise is another ball-game altogether.

However, you can already see that beyond a “reasonable debate” with his dad (who doesnt oppose this match as much as his mom), he wont go on to take those daring steps that are required for such a situation. His mother will need way more than a tiny debate to make her agree. Even you know that, right? You might love him now but are you prepared to face the opposition from his family? Is he prepared to face it for real?

you will know this in your heart -If the answer is yes and , then go ahead and fight this out. If not, you must move on – take a break, stay as friends and develop a better sense of eachother. Love is never that simple and we must keep a firm grip on some practicalities as well. Dont stay with him under some dim hope that he will fight for you if he isnt displaying that kind of gravity. Even if you are madly in love now, you must not lose sight of your long-term stability and happiness. Both of you wont be the same forever and there is a big, big difference with being in love and being married. If he really is ready, he will take whatever steps are needed to be with you. However, you need to face the realities here.