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  • January 31, 2014 at 8:04 am #50079
    Tramby Tramby
    Participant

    I don’t want to disclose my name,I’m from India though. Completed my graduation in 2013 July. Now I’m sitting at home, I don’t have a job. I plan to do masters but I don’t seem to pass any entrance examination. I don’t meet people, go out and my daily routine has become worse. I sleep at late hours and I wake up equally late thinking that I can dodge my problems this way. I don’t have the will to explain my condition to my parents also I don’t think they still understand it. The problems don’t seem to end. I see people getting a job, living happily, travelling the world. I don’t know getting a job, getting masters degree will give me that happiness, freedom or confidence I need in life.

    Can you help me to get out of it? How can I be happy? What do I need to do.

    January 31, 2014 at 9:14 am #50083
    P.O.M. Peace Of Mind
    Participant

    Dear Tramby,

    First of all, did you complete your education in a subject that YOU actually LOVE and have a PASSION for, or is it a subject that you see as eventually “making a good income” so that you will have financial security?
    Why I ask, is that I am much older than you and am able to be your grand mother. I look back and realize that I did not seek a profession that I would have been very happy doing, but rather one that gave me financial security.

    Over the years, I have read where people who have actually gravitated toward “their heart’s desire” in life, their real passion, were the happiest, lived the longest, had fewer ailments, had fewer debts…those who were not looking for what we think is [financial] security. Also, that even though they made less money than those seeking financial gain, they tended to live within their means.

    I guess hindsight really IS 20/20, because if I had the opportunity to “do it over again”, I definitely would do something that makes me very content…It took me all these years to find that out about myself, because “financial security” is a myth which brings many negatives to your life.
    So in essence, maybe if you do desire a Masters Degree, now is the time to decide what makes you content and go for it without it having to be a “financial in-security”.
    Happiness is your goal…everything else will follow. You will radiate joy when you do the’ thing’ that actually brings passion to your soul….I am beginning at this late stage of the game to find my passion, because there isn’t a “do-over” as far as I am concerned.

    Think about it Tramby. Maybe you would love to become an actress, or an artist, or a singer…do what is in your heart, not what you’ve been told “you’d be good at”.

    Peace & Happiness always

    January 31, 2014 at 11:28 am #50086
    Somu
    Participant

    Dear Tramby,

    POM has great advice. What I might add is that, I understand how you feel. My origins are from India and was brought up in a conservative household with a bunch of expectations about how my life should look like. It was great because I though I don’t have to think about anything myself and had a check list to tick off. Life changed when I could not or failed to tick those check boxes, because then I could not impress upon my family that I was up to what they expected. Another realization, was that I was lonely and unhappy, because now I did not have someone give another check list to follow there were a lot of people reminding me how I failed :). Like POM has advised, that is when after much reflection I decided to follow my heart. Even though I had to “disappoint” people’s expectations of me, as long as it was legal, healthy and did not harm any one, I had to follow what I wanted from my life and that certainly is the secret to happiness. “Happiness is a state of mind” and its YOUR mind, not someone else’s. What I did was start reading (I think Tiny Buddha is a great start) and understanding a lot about myself. Then I started going out and meeting people who had bigger dreams than me, bigger aspirations than me. The more I did that the more confident I became of my capabilities. As you can see, the books I read and the people I associate with molded be to become a confident individual and a happy one at that. So go out, breathe the fresh air, hang out with a friend who can uplift you, uplift someone else and you should be able to find answers. NEVER GIVE UP on yourself…

    God Bless, wish you the best…

    February 1, 2014 at 8:43 am #50122
    Tramby Tramby
    Participant

    Thank you POM and Somu. I feel much content after reading what you said to me. I was thinking of it as an escape from these circumstances I’m living in. The financial security part of it is somewhat true. I never read inspiring books or any books for that matter, I feel I need to read to learn more. Inner peace is what I need and I’ll remember what both of you have said.
    Also Somu,here in India things are very weird. We need to be somebody and that somebody is decided by parents or the society. Doing something out-of-league is not taken easily by them. I will try and do what I love. I will keep asking for suggestions from you. Suggest me some books too. I’ll try to keep my heart open and won’t give up on myself.

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