I had been dating my ex-boyfriend for 2 months but I have liked him for 3 years now and our connection & bond is very intense and deep. We’ve both been hurt and messed around in past relationships and always agreed that we would fight through anything. Our relationship was absolutely wonderful, with a few hiccups but we sorted it out. We were the perfect couple, everyone commented on how cute and incredibly happy we were.

Something happened between him and I that really destroyed us mentally and physically.
We were at a party and usually at parties we stick together because we don’t know anyone, but this time we had friends there, so I went off and did my own thing for a while. My friend who I have a history with which my ex was fully aware of was at the party. So, my ex who I’m going to call ‘Cody’ thought my friend ‘Jack’ touched my ass (which he didn’t) So he was acting weird for a while and kept saying nothing was wrong, so I pulled him away finally and asked him what was wrong. His response was ‘Jack touched your ass’ and when he said that he didn’t strangle me but his thumbs were on my collar bone and hands spread around near my neck. This made me feel threatened and no man has ever raised a hand to me, I have been raised to stand up for myself and not let a man control or abuse me. So the night absolutely exploded and I was so hurt and lost because the one I love acted violent towards me. I said some very very very hurtful things to him that night. I had been drinking and I was acting far too extreme as I should have. His brother was also there while this whole situation was happening.

So, ofcourse after this absolutely messed up night, we weren’t okay. But I didn’t think we would break up. I was willing to fight and I already have fought so hard. But he won’t stay with me. But everything contradicts why he finished it. He says he’s heart broken, he loves me so much & doesn’t wanna hurt me, it won’t be forever and we’ll find each other again. It hurts he doesn’t want to fight for me. He said he doesn’t want to see me for a couple of weeks because he thinks he’ll want to kiss me and hold my hand like we used to.

I want to be with him, I love him, he gets me through everything and he has said the same about me. We’ve talked about marriage, kids, university out futures together (we’re too young to have kids or get married at the moment)

I don t want to have false hope that we’re going to get back together, but I want it more than anything. He says he still wants to see me and be there for me, but now isn’t the right time. But if that night had never happened we would still be madly inlove.. I believe his family has made his decision for him. It isn’t like him to give up so fast. His words sound like his families sometimes.

I just want him, no matter what has happened, I miss him. Everything about him, I thought he was my forever. What can/should I do?

Thank you to anyone to took the time to read this