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Negative feelings in new job

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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • December 11, 2017 at 6:15 am #181481
    pomodorini
    Participant
    Hi,
    Good day to all. Just wanted some advice on my current situation. I have just finished my Masters relatively recently, prior to that I was working as a school counsellor. I found my job very satisfying and meaningful but I needed a break to recharge and hence left the school to pursue my Masters in education. Upon returning home and faced with a challenging job market situation, I have found myself in a position where I have accepted a job that within the first week I knew it wasn’t for me. As I have been unemployed for a while, I told myself that I have to give it a shot or at least until I have had things figured out. It has been barely 2 months and I often feel miserable, and with negative feelings mounting and overwhelming me, I do not feel any interest in socializing with some of my colleagues.
     I get to the point where I blame myself for putting myself in this situation. Prior to working in schools, I was in the financial industry doing operations for almost 3 years. I knew from that experience being in operations was not a career preferential to me. Although operations in a education setting may seem different but the basis of it is similar.
    I have been a sociology graduate and picking on granular details and fussing over numbers do not come naturally to me. I have realized now that I have been made in charge to do scheduling that it is something counterintuitive to me. It definitely is something I can learn and can do but it is not something that motivates me. I am not one who makes plans to such details in advance in my daily life, I prefer to live in the moment and take pockets of adventures on impulse if possible. I don’t believe in planning for every single event in my life. As such I blame myself for putting where I am today and knowing that I probably won’t be happy, but at this moment I feel that I do not have a choice as I have to do what I can do survive. I realised that I really missed working with children and I long to return to school counselling but am not sure if that could be a possibility. I am at a lost of whether I should continue to try to give the job that I am in another chance or to continue where I am. Deep down I know that I should start job searching again as I do not feel I could be sustained if i continue to habour such negative energies to work everyday. I have tried reading articles to regulate myself and to try to put things in perspective however it still proves to be an uphill task as I grapple with being in a place where I don’t wish to be.  Do you think I should start looking for another job?
    December 11, 2017 at 7:20 am #181525
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear pomorodini:

    You asked if you should start looking for another job.

    Are there any disadvantages for you to be looking for another job (one that you hopefully will not be  miserable doing)?

    anita

    December 11, 2017 at 9:01 am #181557
    Peter
    Participant

    When you’re in transition, you will need to find a different kind of security. It’s not one of labels, guarantees or bank balances. It’s guidance – the directions of your own inner voice. Moment by moment you know what to do. You are safer than ever before. Tama J. Kieves

    From reading your post it sounds like you know what you want to do the only question is if you will follow. That does not necessary mean having to immediately jumping without a net,,, though the time will come when a jump will be required. It took me years to prepare the way for my career change, but that is my personality I need a idea or vision to work towards and most of the time my vision wasn’t clear so I took one step at a time.

    You can’t force yourself to say “yes” to a bigger life. You will do it in your way. You will do it when smallness hurts too much. Tama J. Kieves

    I found the following book helpful. ‘This Time I Dance!: Creating the Work You Love’ by Tama Kieves

    We all look for what will make us happy in life, but we don’t always make the choices that we should when it comes to sustaining that happiness. Tama Kieves shows how to do just that: how to stay happy and employed doing something you love, and what it takes to stop being a stressed-out worker and make peace with your career-and, most important, with yourself. Filled with solutions to the anxieties and roadblocks you may confront on your path, This Time I Dance! is for all those who are unfulfilled at work and uncertain of the practical steps that they should follow to achieve their dreams.

    December 12, 2017 at 5:41 am #181703
    pomodorini
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Thank you for your response. I cannot think of any disadvantages at the moment for looking for another job but I am feeling like there’s a lot of self-doubt, like is it normal to feel this way, what if I do something else and it’s the same, how could I let the same things happen again, is leaving the right thing to do, shouldn’t i try harder?

    And I find it difficult to manage my emotions throughout the day sometimes, like when the negativity starts setting in, it makes it difficult to get through the day even though i tell myself it’s ok and i will get through it etc.

    pomodorini

    December 12, 2017 at 5:43 am #181705
    pomodorini
    Participant

    Dear Peter,

    Thanks for your quotes!

    pomodorni

    December 12, 2017 at 6:04 am #181717
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear pmodorini”

    In your original post you wrote twice that you blame yourself for experiencing what you are experiencing in your current job. This self blaming is greatly adding to your distress. This part of your distress can be reduced and eliminated.

    When we make choices in life, career wise and otherwise, we have to consider the fit between it and us. You wrote in your original post: “I have been unemployed for a while, I told myself that I have to give it a shot”- this was a thought, what you thought you should do and why. The thought didn’t last long. Then came the experience, working with numbers, something you already experienced as undesirable for you. The experience itself has lasted much longer than the thought I quoted.

    There is much more value to the experience therefore than to the thought. We have a lot to learn from experiencing. So the job doesn’t fit you, who you are. So, yes, look for another job, working with people, school counseling or the like.

    No human is …. super human, able to function well in any job, in any life circumstance. We have to pick and choose thoughtfully from what is available, experience and evaluate our experience.

    If you would like to elaborate on the self doubt and blaming you mentioned, please do. I will then reply further.

    anita

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