@anita:

Long time no see!

I realize this is a pretty long-gone topic, but I am back to let you know how things turned out since you gave me advice several months ago.

Despite having another conversation with him and finally managing to stop caring so much on my end, he started to dislike the changes I was making. He wouldn’t encourage me to pursue my dreams or to keep growing as a person. He even warned me to not become arrogant when I started to have more faith in myself and my abilities. Slowly and slowly I began to see just how pessimistic he was, always dreading the darkest future and talking poorly of his own best friends! I now realize why I became so drained around him. I was the ‘only thing’ that brought him joy, and it was just too much. He was set on some idealized future where I would marry him and compromise my dreams for him, and I wasn’t going to have it, no matter how much I cared about him. I gave him advice on being positive and it went in one ear and out the other so many times.

So long story short, after intensive thinking, we are no longer together and I am quite happy with my choice. I don’t think I’ve felt this free for a while, if that says anything. I wish the best for him, but I can’t be in his life the way he wants me to with the way he currently is. And after we had one last conversation, he told me to ‘trust’ the next person I end up in a relationship with and left me outside in the dark when it was freezing. I understand he was upset but I can’t help but feel like that only sealed my decision when he did that… my parents weren’t too happy either, and my dad practically flew down in his car to come get me. It was a strange day.

Thank you so much for the help you gave me. I tried changing the rules and he wouldn’t listen, refused to believe there was anything wrong, and that I was overreacting. He was looking at me through rose-tinted glasses while I was observing all of his actions and words, and I finally realized he is not the man I would want for a husband years from now. I won’t forget the good times, but there will be better times to come.

(: Also, Happy Holidays!