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Pain and Depression

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  • November 9, 2016 at 9:53 am #119989
    Journey
    Participant

    I don’t know how to get up and keep going. Today the woman I love left my life, probably for good. If I see her again it will be under vastly different circumstances. I slept next to her for the last time last night. I knew we would be saying goodbye today, I stayed right up until the day she was moving away knowing that it would mean this goodbye. That was not the wise thing to do, I should have walked away so much sooner. But love makes us stupid. In the past, when life has gotten hard and I’ve been in pain, I’ve been able to repeat to myself, “This too shall pass” and find even the smallest measure of comfort in it. Somehow I can’t find any comfort in that now. This pain feels all encompassing and soul destroying. How do I walk forward? I need support now. Please help me.

    November 9, 2016 at 11:07 am #119992
    Ninja
    Participant

    Dear Journey85 –

    First, I am sincerely sorry that you are going through this. I too have been through similar heartache and loss with a woman I loved.

    With this said, I believe that in order to help I would need a little more context and background regarding your situation. You said that you were sleeping together and that she was moving away – were you living together? What do you believe was the reason that is causing her to leave?

    Of course, I completely understand that sharing more information is both personal and may take you back to a painful place. So, share what you feel is possible for now. I am here and will look for your response.

    Peace to you today.

    Ninja

    November 9, 2016 at 11:23 am #119993
    Journey
    Participant

    We met through mutual friends. She travels around for work with no real home. She was staying with friends in the town where I live before heading to work in a town hours away. She made very clear from the start that she didn’t want something serious. And I know I should have believed her and just walked away when I started to feel more. But her words and her actions never matched up. We became very close though we never lived together. She is the first woman I have ever loved.

    November 10, 2016 at 10:48 am #120069
    Ninja
    Participant

    Thank you for sharing more.

    I looked at your only other thread and it sounds as if this woman is relatively new in your life (Guidance Through on 11/6: “I have recently begun to date a woman for the first time in my life”). While you may feel it is love, perhaps for the first time, still, often a deeper, more spiritual love takes time. I am not questioning your feelings nor judging the depth and immediacy in which this relationship unfolded. But it does sound as if she was up-front with your verbally, even though “her words and actions never matched up.” I also find it odd that she “travels around a lot for work with no real home.” I would suggest giving yourself the time you need to grieve and heal. Again, I am sincerely sorry for your loss.

    Wishing you peace today.

    Ninja

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