Dear S:

This sentence in your recent post stood out to me: “Always thought that being a creator of sorts, putting things out there, my only means of putting myself out there without really speaking would be the thing that would’ve helped me escape my issues.”-

It sounds like creativity has become your main way of expressing emotions—almost like a substitute for verbal communication with others. Maybe this is because, in the past, sharing your feelings didn’t go well—you felt misunderstood, ignored, or rejected.

You also wrote earlier: “Initially had some optimism when younger like anyone would, only to be met with constant disappointment… the protection mainly stems from poor experiences in expressing myself through communication with people and places I had been around, not understanding and rejection when I was open and vulnerable.”-

This suggests that when you tried to express yourself openly, negative experiences pushed you to withdraw. Now, it might feel safer to avoid deep emotional conversations and focus on art instead.

Here are a few ideas that might help:

* Practice saying your feelings out loud – You might try verbalizing your emotions to yourself, even in simple ways. Saying something like “I feel frustrated today” or “I feel tired” can help make sharing feelings more natural over time. If it feels easier, you could also record voice notes for yourself.

* Find safe places to share – Writing in a journal, continuing to post in your thread, or engaging in supportive online communities could help you get more comfortable expressing emotions in ways that feel safe.

* Recognize that communication can improve – Expressing emotions takes practice. Therapy, discussion groups, or even observing how open communicators express themselves might help you feel more confident over time.

* Don’t take rejection personally – If people have dismissed your feelings in the past, that doesn’t mean they weren’t valid. Sometimes, others just don’t know how to respond in the way you need, but that doesn’t reflect your worth.

If any of this resonates, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

anita

Dear S:

really appreciate your thoughts! I’m glad to hear that the ideas resonated with you, and taking time to fully absorb them sounds like a thoughtful approach. Writing down your thoughts more often could help with that too—it makes things clearer and easier to reflect on.

Regarding your question about “other aspects to work on that I may not be fully aware of outside of what has been looked into?”—one concept that might be helpful to consider is cognitive overload. Cognitive overload happens when your brain is processing too much information at once, making it hard to focus, think clearly, or make decisions. It’s like trying to carry too many grocery bags in one trip—something is bound to fall or get tangled. Or like having a plate overflowing with food—there’s too much on it, and things start spilling over because there’s no space to hold everything neatly.

Here are some signs of cognitive overload:

* Scattered thoughts: Ideas feel tangled, making them hard to organize.

* Mental fog: Difficulty concentrating or remembering things.

* Struggling with decision-making: Feeling stuck or overwhelmed when choosing between options.

* Exhaustion after thinking: Feeling drained after conversations or tasks that require a lot of focus.

* Difficulty expressing thoughts: Sentences become long, unclear, or jump between ideas too quickly.

When cognitive overload happens, your brain isn’t processing information efficiently. A helpful strategy is to break things down—writing short, clear thoughts instead of long, complex ones, or focusing on one idea at a time instead of several.

To show you the difference, here’s part of a slightly cognitively overloaded sentence you wrote in your recent post: “In the rare moments when I say anything to others, things usually just feel kind of vapid, thinking what I was looking for would jump right out in front of me and awaken my mind from fog.”

A clearer, simplified version (without cognitive overload) of that sentence: I rarely talk to other people. When I do, the conversations feel empty. I hope that the answers I need will suddenly appear and clear my mind, but that doesn’t happen.

Let’s take a look at a cognitively overloaded one sentence from your original post: “Never done anything like this before but here’s more from me: Initially had some optimism when younger like anyone would only to be met with constant disappointment as mentioned leaving me jaded the protection mainly stems from poor experiences in expressing myself though communication with people and places I had been around not understanding and rejection when I was open and vulnerable.”

Now, here’s a clearer, simplified version (six sentences) with smoother structure: “I’ve never shared like this before, but here’s more from me. When I was younger, I felt optimistic, like most people do. But over time, I faced constant disappointment, which made me jaded. I struggle with expressing myself because of past bad experiences. When I tried to communicate openly, people didn’t understand me. Sometimes, I was rejected when I was vulnerable, which made me more protective of my feelings.”

Simplifying ideas helps clear mental clutter and makes reflection easier. Breaking thoughts into smaller, clearer parts improves processing, and with practice, it’s a skill you can get better at.

Would love to hear your thoughts on this!

anita