Home→Forums→Tough Times→Parents divorcing at the same time of a bad break up. No one to talk to, so alon
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April 8, 2016 at 8:01 pm #101340
AnonymousGuestDear Cath:
No need to apologize to me for not getting back to me earlier. Whenever you post to me, that will be fine! You choose the people you spend time with and you choose when to post here.
Choose, you don’t have to spend (any) time with your mother or father or any family member. You don’t have to. You choose.
anita
April 19, 2016 at 7:36 pm #102299AnonymousInactiveHey Anita,
thought I should update you.
I’m doing GREAT moving on ex bf. really good indeed! Apart from that, just struggling to make actual changes in my life (moving out to another country etc).
Anxiety goes on and off. Learning how to better deal with it as well.
I’ll be keeping you posted 🙂April 19, 2016 at 7:44 pm #102301AnonymousGuestDear cath:
Thank you for your update, i appreciate it as I was wondering how you are doing.
Moving to another country sounds oh, so very good for you, away from everyone in your life who … shouldn’t be in your life. I just imagined myself in your place, sensing freedom in the air…!
Till your next post, take care!
anita
April 19, 2016 at 8:01 pm #102304AnonymousInactiveThat’s exactly it Anita, freedom, that is very much what my inner-me, my inside, asks me so much 🙂
April 19, 2016 at 8:18 pm #102306AnonymousGuestDear cath:
And I hope you get it soon, freedom!
anita
April 28, 2016 at 6:48 pm #103070AnonymousInactiveHello, Anita
Here I am after a while.
Caught myself observing and thinking about something.
I (still) see so many lies between my parents and all this divorce thing. Saw so many lies in my past relationship. Everyday I hear histories about lies.
Is there any truth in this world? Are we human beings liars indeed? Is it possible to live your own truth and be the same to others?
We lie to ourselves so often. I don’t know. I’ve made a pact with myself now that I won’t lie to me anymore. Wanted to hear your insights 🙂April 28, 2016 at 7:57 pm #103080AnonymousGuestDear cath:
To see the truth as it is – that is rare. It is a process for me to peel off layers of distortions and use a “beginner’s mind” to see the truth underneath all the distortions, false beliefs (delusions), what you call lies. Distorted views of reality is the norm, common, widespread, the majority. Realistic view is the exception. It is mind boggling to realize that my basic beliefs were lies.
Evaluate what you hear, what you believed so far and identify the truth. Only do it in small doses because it is overwhelming. Find our a bit of truth and let the dust settle on that, rest, relax into it and see more of what is true.
anita
May 1, 2016 at 6:09 pm #103307AnonymousInactiveYes, it can be overwhelming. I’ll take it easy.
Anita I’ll have to go to the city where ex lives next week to figure out some bureacracy. I have been doing amazing, but this has triggered my anxiety and sadness all over again 🙁
May 1, 2016 at 7:28 pm #103310AnonymousGuestDear cath:
If there was a way to do away with sadness and anxiety, who wouldn’t do away with feeling badly. How many people turn to drugs, legal, prescribed, illegal for that purpose…(no answer required, lots, millions and millions and more millions). How many people sit in casinos, distracting themselves with those slot machines all night long (24 hour night time in the casino). My goodness, cath, who is not after feeling good?
This is the way it is. For you, for me, for all humans, we have no choice but to spend more time than we wish being sad and anxious. Am I being encouraging right now, I wonder. I suppose I am back to the having to endure these feelings and not be scared of them. Relax into what you feel. Don’t try to change it… and it will change by itself. The more you let it be, the faster it will change.
To really accept what you feel, to no longer expect to feel anything else. When you feel good, enjoy it and don’t expect it to be eternal. When you feel badly, feel badly, but don’t make it worse by resisting it. And it will not be eternal.
Next week, what day? Post anytime until, during and after that day.
anita
May 1, 2016 at 7:41 pm #103312AnonymousInactiveAnita, i’m so grateful. thanks. you really provided me comfort here. real support. i’ll go on thurssday. i’ll be updating you.
May 1, 2016 at 7:44 pm #103314AnonymousGuestDear cath:
I didn’t know if I was comforting. I am glad I was. Thursday. Post anytime.
anita
May 4, 2016 at 7:42 pm #103590AnonymousGuestDear cath:
It’s about Thursday on your part of the world, I think. Be strong and don’t fight your feelings, whatever they are.Let them be best you can. It is way better to not be alarmed and disturbed by a feeling and instead, just feeling it. I am practicing this very thing today on a level I haven’t before. It really is something, it works! Take care and let me know how it went.
anita
May 4, 2016 at 7:45 pm #103593AnonymousInactiveHey anita,
I was here let them come as you wrote. Funny, it was really something at the same time. Yes I leave tomorrow, it’s still Wednesday here.
Thank you for writing. I’m not resisting anything, but at the same time I’m not letting fear take over me. I’m acknowledging everything and accepting. You are absolutely right, it works. I’m crying a bit and I’ll just let these tears come and wash away.
I’ll let you know how everything goes.May 4, 2016 at 7:58 pm #103601AnonymousInactiveand anita…from what i can observe…there were just a few tears, honestly. I see it is a pretty good sign.
May 4, 2016 at 8:12 pm #103607AnonymousGuestDear cath:
The good thing about feelings is that they change. I was anxious an hour ago and now I feel better. Wednesday still, then tomorrow. Be mindful tomorrow, pay attention to how you feel throughout the day and looking forward to read your post after.
Take good care of yourself!
anita
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