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Partner's Mother Hates Me?

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  • February 12, 2017 at 5:52 pm #127287
    stephanie
    Participant

    Hi there!

    I have been having a really hard time letting go the anger, frustration and confusion when it comes to my partner’s mother’s behaviour towards me. My partner and I have been dating for over a year and during this time his mother was absolutely wonderful to me! She was always so kind and so generous, and welcomed me into the family with open arms. My partner and I did break up after a year and we are currently working things out but what I can’t seem to comprehend is his mother’s attitude towards me now! When we were rocky but still together she deleted me off Facebook, and when I tried to re-add her she ignored my request. I then texted her a few weeks later, telling her I got her a infuser that she wanted and she ignored that text as well. A few days went by and I was very hurt by her recent actions so I decided to text her asking if I did anything wrong and I did not want to make any assumptions about the situation. Since then She has not replied to any of my texts nor has accepted my friend request (it has been months). My partner said maybe she wants to give us space while we work things out but I just don’t know how to feel about it.

    I really want my relationship to work with my partner and his relationship with his mother is extremely important to him. I don’t understand if I did anything wrong and I am having a hard time letting go of feeling rejected and hurt by his mother.

    February 12, 2017 at 6:46 pm #127295
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear 3bunnies2:

    From your account, his mother’s attitude toward you changed drastically a year into your relationship with her son when the two of you broke up. The reason for her change is probably because of the break up- likely she saw her son hurting as a result of the breakup and figured you are the reason her little boy is in pain.

    Maybe she feels betrayed by you- having welcomed you into her family and in return, you hurt her boy.

    If I am correct, she will change back her attitude toward you only if she believes you are good and safe for her son and will not hurt him again.

    Your thoughts?

    anita

    February 12, 2017 at 7:10 pm #127298
    stephanie
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Thank you for your reply! I hadn’t thought of it in that sense,I took her actions as being a personal attack to me as an individual and not a form of protection.

    My only concern is that I will never have a chance to show her that my intentions mean well because I’m afraid that her attitude towards me will influence my partner in his decision to want to be with me again.

    February 12, 2017 at 7:21 pm #127299
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear 3bunnies2:

    I suppose your boyfriend’s attitude during the breakup, when he was hurt, influenced his mother. If they were and are close, maybe he told her things, given her details about the relationship and the breakup that convinced her you are not a good partner for her son.

    Your boyfriend is working on his relationship with you even though his mother is not for the relationship anymore. So her attitude is not that powerful, is it?

    When you knew her was she a dominant woman who was controlling of her son… ?

    anita

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