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Platonic Love? what does that mean?

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  • June 4, 2017 at 2:56 pm #151862
    Jihun
    Participant

    Hi guys, so I have been hitting up with a girl recently. So far, we have amazing chemistry! but the problem is that few days ago she brought out the term “Platonic Love” and that she wanted our relationship to be like that. To be honest I did not know how to react to that, does that mean that she does not like me? or is it just because she is not physically attracted to me? as of now I am confused of how I am supposed to take that because this is the first time a girl tell me something like this. Thanks in advance!!

    June 5, 2017 at 11:20 am #152006
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jihun:

    I think it means that she is not interested in a physical, sexual relationship with you. Maybe because she believes that a physical, sexual relationship is fitting a marriage context and the two of you are not married; maybe she is not interested in such a relationship because she has negative feelings about sex and/ or about her body.

    There is also the possibility that she is okay with sex outside marriage and she doesn’t have significant negative feelings about sex and/ or her body, but she is not sexually attracted to you. There may be other possibilities that are not occurring to me at the moment.

    To examine different possibilities and figure out which one (or a combination of) is true to her, further discussions with her can be helpful. Asking gently and clearly can be very helpful.

    anita

     

    June 5, 2017 at 2:55 pm #152030
    Jihun
    Participant

    Hey Anita thanks for your response! I really think that it is the second possibility although she told me that she was just kidding and that I should not think about it too. But that is due to the reaction on my face when she said that.. Do you think that I have a chance with her? I really do not want to have a “platonic love” so should I just keep going on with my life? I also forgot to mention that she is 6 years older than me.

    June 6, 2017 at 9:51 am #152122
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jihun:

    If it is the second possibility, that is, she is not interested in a sexual relationship with you because of lack of attraction on her part, it makes sense for you to move on and meet a woman who is interested in a sexual relationship with you. It makes sense because you are not interested in a platonic (non-sexual) relationship with her.

    You asked if you have a chance with her, a chance for a sexual relationship- I suppose you have a chance, a statistical chance- women do have sex with men they are not attracted to, for a variety of reasons. They do, maybe once, maybe twice, maybe more times. Question is: are you interested in having sex with her knowing she is not attracted to you.

    anita

     

    June 6, 2017 at 11:17 am #152154
    Hemingway
    Participant

    Dear Jihun,

    I googled the term “Platonic love” and found this definition:

    A deep, non-sexual friendship between two heterosexual people of the opposite sexes.

    Unfortunately, the expression means you were friend-zoned. Every man goes through this—the part of a relationship where we question whether or not the feelings are mutual. You’ve already made the right choice in calculating your next move, and it is always better to be cautious when dealing in unknown territory.

    But what is the right choice you ask? Relationships are fickle; there is no right choice. To piggyback off what Anita said, women do have sex with men they are not attracted to, and many would not object to being on the receiving side of pleasure. However, I advise against pursuing this practice.

    You will encounter many women in your life, and some might be more or less ambiguous than the current. Yet, if you spend this time developing yourself as a man (I assume you are one but correct me if I’m wrong), then you will have no trouble spotting an uninterested woman from another—and most importantly, deciding which is right for you.

    The biggest mistake we make is chasing the first person that shows us a bit of interest. Although the attention is nice (and I’m sure we can all agree that a little attention is great), it is not fair to shortchange ourselves by feeling that we are not good enough. Our subconscious is always listening, and the next person that comes into our lives is getting a man/woman that believes we are only worthy of “Platonic love.”

    Jihun, my advice is this: Enjoy the company and be happy while continuing to grow as an individual.

    This woman is obviously unclear in her objectives, and don’t allow yourself to get caught in a head-trip because of her indecisiveness (I use indecisiveness because she seems to enjoy having you around while knowing you have feelings for her).

    There are plenty of youtube videos on learning how to attract the opposite sex, build yourself into a better orator, and creating a positive mindset. TinyBuddha has been a great resource for myself, and I hope that you continue to ask questions.

    Stay positive, my friend.

    – Hemingway

     

     

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