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please help out,thank you

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  • April 5, 2014 at 11:23 pm #54337
    niall
    Participant

    Hi,i’m a 20 years old girl
    i’m the type people call ‘different’,i’m said to be living in my own world..
    i am highly aware of what is going on around me and what people say about me..
    but i’m content with where i am,that i cant bother to defend myself or socialize at all
    i have no friends,other than acquaintances,but that’s fine with me
    i enjoy studying,i’m a huge nerd..
    currently doing my second year in medicine,life was everything i wanted…
    then it happened…as far as i can remember guys havent given me a second glance
    suddenly,the most popular,handsome guy in campus,a 4th year student,who has everyone drooling
    was interested in ME..he is the very definition of perfect…smart,athletic,handsome,mysterious..
    well,the relationship started..and..he is hot and cold..sometimes he makes me feel on top of the world
    other days he goes so cold,i have no idea what to do
    i chase after him most of the time,he comes into the relationship when he feels like it
    he had a rough life,and is damaged in a way,and still seems to be pining over his old flame
    i couldnt take it anymore it was driving me crazy,we had a talk,about what each of us wanted..and how i cant do this hot and cold
    and if he still has feeling for his old girlfriend it wast fair on me…but he insisted that he wanted this
    it was great for a few days,but t’s back to the same cycle now
    i’m an emotional wreck,with the workload,no friends to confide in,and trying to figure out what he wants
    he has so much control over me,he whistles and i come running
    i dont know what to do….for the first time i had the best..i loved him at first,now i’m not even sure i do
    but why am i still waiting for him to call?!
    please help me out,thank you so much
    sorry,it’s so long,hehe

    April 6, 2014 at 7:40 am #54350
    BruceWayne
    Participant

    Niall,

    As a student of medicine myself, I am going to offer you 2 different forms of advice. Since you are 2nd year, you must forget about this man and move on. If you are a US student, you really need to focus on school and the board exams. I was having a girl problem a while ago which distracted me from my studies too much, and I couldn’t afford it because I’m already getting panic attacks about the boards. I cut her out of my life; she didnt seem to care or maybe is relieved, but who cares about her, once I am done with the step 1 it is easy street after that. Meeting girls or guys can happen anytime and anywhere, but you can only take that exam once. This advice is from a med student perspective.

    From my batman perspective, I think that if this man is not over his past girlfriend, that will do more harm to you. You are right, its not fair to you that he is doing this to you. This guy has his own problems it seems, and I would hate to see his problems affect you negatively. You deserve someone who cant stop thinking about you and nobody else. These people do exist, but sometimes you have to branch out of your comfort zone to meet people.

    Niall, you do have control over your own life. I need you to answer one simple question, who matters more, yourself or everyone else? If the answer is you, then you need to take care of the most important person in the world, you. I know you feel like you lost yourself sister, I’ve been there, but once you start looking out for yourself, and start focusing on what you are good at, which is your workload, the gears of your life will start moving again, you are the boss Niall.

    April 6, 2014 at 6:41 pm #54387
    Emily
    Participant

    I totally agree with Batman over here!

    The first person you need to start taking care of is yourself.
    Grab life by the horns and ride through it one hurdle at a time, the first hurdle being to get school/college out of the way before you start worrying about things like romantic relationships.

    Who knows you might find that you can eventually handle both at once, but for now I don’t see this being a good idea from what you’ve explained.
    Look out for yourself, get your head stuck into your work and pass medicine with flying colours!

    As BruceWayne said before me, you’re the boss, Niall!
    🙂

    ~ Emily

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