Dear friend,
Sometimes, a certain relationship or life situation is so tough, there isn’t a clear answer.
However, I do believe in the power of prayers. It doesn’t have to be a religious one, it can be a form of affirmation or positive intention. I used to get into heated arguments with my mom too and both ended up in lots of tears and days of uneasy feelings. What worked in my case was trying to understand why my mom was a certain way. People act a certain way according to what they know, their truth, their years of life experiences. Your mom probably had some really tough time at some point in her life. It’s the internal struggles acting out. I’d pray for her. I deeply believe that there’s a divine energy in each and everyone of us that can be slowly invoked and brought to the surface. But it would take a lot of patience. Gently acknowledge her pain. Sometimes, people acts out because they feel like no one cares, no one understands. In the case of my mom, she always thought that she’s not good enough and even I don’t love her, which is far from the truth. I learned to see her pain. I told her I love her, over and over again. I told her I am grateful for all the sacrifices she did for me. I told her her heart is like an ocean of love. I pointed out all the great things she did for people around her. Plus, when I calmed down, there was no fuel for a heated argument. So, yes, you can’t change mom, but your loving energy can be felt, and your patience with it will bare fruits and both of you will feel better. My love to you both.

• This reply was modified 9 years, 10 months ago by tinybuddha.