May 8, 2013 at 11:30 pm #35301JoiParticipant
I don’t follow any set of beliefs, I usually learn by experience and I’m heavily into philosophy. I’ve been getting slowly better at reading my own inner intuition and at times I can have small visions as I am meditating.
Well, to make a long story short. I was in a 4 year on and off relationship with a young fellow who I consider my soul mate. Him and I both have not disciplined ourselves in emotional mastery and broke up due to lack of communication and overall dramatic stress. Alas, we are young both 22 and growing. The strangest thing happened as he moved out of my apartment and moved in with a buddy who recently broke up with his girlfriend. They shared a communion in being broken hearted and at this time I was in awful shape and wanted to work things out with my ex-lover. Yet, when I passed his roommate’s Ex-girlfriend, a strange sensation brushed over me and I had the intuitive sensation that my ex-lover and her was messing around. Surely, I was right..within a few months they moved in together and are now in a domesticated partnership. I have no intentions in sabotaging their relationship and I understand it is very human of us to want to disconnect when we receive a new love in our lives. But, I also believe this man is my soul mate and I love him unconditionally despite who he is with. I’ve tried to let him know I’ll always be there and I know he doesn’t believe me, has thrown away our pictures to make room for his new life. I’ve learned that life is too short and you must replace all negativity with love, I hope he’ll discover this too. I’m just asking the tiny buddha community if you ever fell in love with someone, and still stayed around and eventually they turned the other cheek to see a friendship? I’m healing naturally it’s been 6 months now and I know I’ll need another 6 months to go. Thanks everyone ~May 9, 2013 at 8:14 am #35308Joe LawsonParticipant
You sound like a strong one! I understand this feeling, because I’ve felt it myself. I think a good thing to look at is how you’re living your life right now. Is your daily life based around this problem you’re experiencing? Or are you taking the steps you need to take in order to live a happy and fulfilled life for yourself? I believe the latter of the two is where you need to be. The conclusion that I reached was that it was unfair to myself to float around an old flame hoping to salvage the relationship- be it rekindling what we had or beginning as friends again.
If you feel stuck, and the center of your universe at this present moment is how you can’t fully heal or move on from your soul mate, then consider yourself lucky! You’ve come a long way and are blessed with one final choice in the matter. Either maintain your unhappiness of living in the past and living with what you don’t have – or – Make the decision to be your best you regardless of any situation- naturally, what you want, if it’s truly what you need, will attract to you. No one wants a soggy mess following them and their new lover around. You need know that you have everything you need to be happy right now. Happiness is a choice after all.
Lastly, attach no agenda to your reinvention. You might want this man in some form or fashion, but truly honoring yourself might bring a new man into your life, one that will be who you want and need, a true friend and lover. Honoring yourself and choosing happiness and progress is likely to yield the results you want/need, but not necessarily in the form that you’ve envisioned them manifesting. Sometimes love manifests as a job opportunity in another town where you meet someone new. It is important to be open and aware to these gifts from the Universe, they are your creations, and once again the choice is yours whether you notice them/accept them or not. Do not swoon over the thought of being with your soul mate again unless it is a direct result of you honoring yourself 100%. Not 99.9%, 100%. Trying to force the situation/moment into such a box will only distort the power of your creation that comes with choosing genuine happiness and being true to you- you might overlook the gifts that didn’t fit within the scope of the reality that you’ve desired. Choose happiness and let it fuel your reinvention and evolution, go with the flow of creation that it brings- if this man is truly your soulmate, he will see the strength and wisdom that you employ as his own and will do what needs to done.
If all else fails, YouTube Alan Watts.
With love.May 9, 2013 at 8:17 am #35309Joe LawsonParticipant
P.s.- This just popped into my inbox while responding to you:
“Instead of complaining that the rose bush is full of thorns, be happy the thorn bush has roses.” ~Proverb
TinyBuddha always delivers the goods at the right time 🙂May 9, 2013 at 4:29 pm #35323JoiParticipant
Thank you for your reply!
I’ve been doing the best I can, I must admit that a lot of past memories still plague me. Her and I did text each other but it wasn’t on the note I wanted to leave, she mostly told me how horrible I was to him and so forth.. I recently wrote her an email about extending my love out to her too and told them if they need a meal, or to be bailed out of jail I could help out, most of all I welcomed both of them to a cup of coffee in the future when all of us have healed fully. I don’t know if the email was ridiculous on my part, but I must say that I at least tried to get over my ego, accept pain and be a friend to both of them. For the time I’ve known him, his family turned the other cheek whenever he needed help. So, I can’t stand the idea of no one being there for them because of a stupid past romantic history. So, Whatever their judgements of me are I’m to the point where I don’t care anymore, everyone can be pissy and grumble all they want but, I tried the only way I knew how, I’m human and it was me reaching out. As Vonnegut says “so it goes..”, and I’m welcoming compassion for the human race every day.