I recently had a blow up with my boyfriend . We started seeing each other a little over two months ago – im not really sure where to start but Im hoping that I can sort out what happened or get some feed back maybe some insight or something im blind to –
on Wed night I had a blow out with him the day started out with us running errands and getting pants for the new job i would be starting the following day ,
I got the job so that we could live together and I would have some place close to work . I have been unemployed since mid april . in the mean time he and I have spent a lot of time together already living with each other . I moved here for a seasonal position and was planning on moving back to California after the position ended but we met each other and ended up sticking together for most of the 2 months . He went to visit his family in Washington and met up with him after he came back and we have been together pretty much since then I did leave for a week and came back .
Anyway I had planned on going to California this summer to help on a sustainable living farm which is seasonal . Instead I got a job here and on Wed a friend called and said they would love if I came out a few weeks to help with things but it would only be temporary and I had already planned on it before I met him -I mentioned this and it had been an issue before .
Having this conversation led to us drinking – he got me a bottle of tequila and he drank beer I drank most of the bottle and a few hours later he suggested that we go to the bar while we were at the bar it was a little foggy we had two shots and two beers – but i remember I offended him somehow or so he says and we were kind of arguing – we got home its all a blur and then we argued and then i got so angry for some reason and tried punching him – i started throwing things and he kicked me out – i got my things and he followed me out to get his phone i threw his phones on the ground – he had my keys i had his phone i said where are my keys he said you can have your keys if you give me back my phone i gave him his phone and he gave me my keys i drove off and thought i left my purse – I guess while i had his phone i text his parents not sure what i said – so when i got back he locked himself in his room i banged on the door and then he wouldnt open it and then i left grabbed a wine opener and stuck it in two of his tires letting out the air – then drove down the canyon drunk to a friends and stayed up all night then next day it hit me what I had done – we have talked since then but it really scared me I did not beleive I would ever do that to him im confused about him – and why i reacted that way – i know I would not have done that sober – and I have not made the best choice in men I have since then apologized but im still very confused and dwelling on it .