Dear Oonagh, when I read your post at first I almost thought you are my boyfriends ex… 🙂

I’ve writen about our situation here few months ago, and it’s kind of similar. He has two young kids and lives with his ex. She broke the relationship in quite a bad way, but they decided to stay and live together because it was convenient for them financially and because of the kids (he adores them and spends even more time with them than their mother…and he was able to go through her betrayal because of them, but it was really hard for him). I was afraid I will get hurt in the end, I thought that that kind of living arrangement is not good for any party, was unemployed at the moment and even thought about moving to another country.

Things took the unexpected turn, at the moment everything is working out. They were talking about everything and since it’s harder for her to have a long distance relationship and leave home for a few weeks every few months…and have the parents ask questions about it….and him seeing me and leaving often. So they are thinking about letting their parents and children know what the situation really is. That came as a shock to me at first. But it is probably the best thing to do.

The difference is that they are both clear about how they feel and don’t have residual feelings for each other or resentments. No one is hurt badly at the moment because they live together. And I see that in your case, you are. And that can’t be healthy for you. Is there a way for you to live somewhere else? How old are the kids?

Can you imagine yourself getting better looking at him every day?

There is a great quote saying; you cannot expect to heal…while going back to the same situation that broke you…