Dear Martin:

What you wrote above makes sense to me. And, thinking about it, one cannot argue with a … spark as a reasoning, just you wrote, a spark igniting and then disappearing cannot be explained. A spark is really not a solid basis to a relationship, because it is unpredictable, because it cannot be explained (and even if explained, an explanation is not necessarily going to re-ignite it).

A spark is here today, gone the next. Better be with a partner whose reasoning for being and staying in a relationship is not that elusive spark.

anita

Dear Martin:

I suppose she doesn’t think like you, logically and reasonably. I think that most people don’t operate logically and for their own best interest. She is not unique in this regard, I believe. Maybe your “separation confusion” is about not understanding that people operate a lot of the time not according to logic and best interest, could that be it?

anita

Dear Martin:

Opposites may attract and get together, but staying together and in a good relationship, that takes a meeting-of-the-minds, I believe, that is having shared goals, values and motivations. No two are identical, of course, but there needs to be enough in common.

anita