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shell shocked

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  • #46002
    lamare
    Participant

    Six months into the break up of a 20 year relationship to a woman that touch my soul from the very start, we still live in the same home and trying to keep at least that. (for investment purposes, ) our troubles as i see are very workable, this is what i wish for at this moment. Its hard to let go. She says she has grown and changed, dosnt want to be married to me no romance, we r trying for friendship, house mates. I am working on myself at this point. i get stuck in my head about how do i just let go of a love for a person, and just become roomates.
    any suggestions

    #46003
    Al
    Participant

    Do not let go of your love for her. Instead, use it to want the best for her, which in this case is parting for loving someone means to care more for them than for yourself. Be happy for what she once gave you, for the experience you’ve had and for the memories you’ve created. Thank her in your heart and wish her a wonderful rest of her life.

    If, however, you find it too difficult then I would advise on seeking separate housing, if possible. This may help in you good byes. Best of luck to you.

    #46011
    stella
    Participant

    it sounds like separate housing would be good for you.

    #46028
    lamare
    Participant

    Right now seperte houseing, sounds like a good plan. that are many parts of me that know that, and there are the parts that remind me more That i vested in a marriage and put all that i had into creating what i felt was “OUR” home. I kept on that path proudly, and completly. Even thought i knew she had distanced her self in her head, re writing our story the way she saw it, until bamb she hit me with ” we are not a couple we havent been in years, at a wedding of a family member” Under the circumstances of the situation where we were what was happening etc, I was just shocked beyond words. And still am every time i recall it. So, i work on myself to now still to build and keep the real story of our 20 years, good and bad, i make amaindes where needed, and keep my emotions about how i feel about ti to myself now, just wok on healing me. This is place i will sit in until i feel revived, and gain some understanding of wht I need to do. She has a Life, outside which has taken president to doing any work here on a personal level. So i feel that, there are oprtions, Mine r to stay, and figure out a plan to be able to do that, hers are she needs to go, so i say she may go, AS far as letting go of my love for her, I am not, letting it go is the hardest thing, because i know i see a future life with her. right now i keep this to myself. in my prayers and heart. Our home situation may not be the greatest at this point, but i surley, can provide for myself here, in a very caring way, with respect to what is around me. Keep the love i feel for her and not be forced to let it go. I hold a rose quartz crystal to my heart for healing and ask for guidence and strenght in my journey.

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