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Should I give up?

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  • #83205
    Julie
    Participant

    I currently go to college about 3 hours away from home. Over the summer at work I met this guy and we began texting. We have a lot in common, share common interests and views, are usually on the same page about things.

    In about mid-July we were still just friends “talking” but there was definitely chemistry there. We were at a mutual friends party and both pretty messed up when we had sex. It was never even brought up for about 2 weeks because we just kind of stopped talking until one day he asked why we never talk anymore, which eventually brought things back up to where they were. We kind of just agreed to see where things go and keep talking.

    Towards the end of August we both admitted that we did like each other as more than friends and that we would keep talking when I was at school. I figured he wouldn’t genuinely keep his word on that but he did. Being away though has made it clear that I really do like him and want to be in a more serious committed relationship with him, despite the fact I’m at school. So last week I finally decided I had nothing to lose and texted him saying that we both are busy and have our own lives but at the same time both like each other and have a weird relationship going on and that I either want to be strictly friends, progress towards something more serious, or just be done all together. He responded that he “doesn’t see anything with talking and seeing what happens I’m not gonna commit to a relationship and dive right in I’d like to see where things go and if it works it works I have nothing against it”. Issue being that he said basically the same thing over a month ago and nothing has changed.

    Fast forward several days and he texted me asking if I miss him, that he misses me. It was Friday night and we were both out and drinking later on when I asked him what he wanted and he said he wants to find a girl who can be a part of his life and wants to see where this can go but that he doesn’t want to commit to just a texting relationship he wants to actually hangout and do stuff. He also said he would try to visit one of these weekends before he hockey starts (he works for a hockey team and has to work game nights starting in October). I’ve talked to him a couple times since then about nothing serious except him mentioning that the last person he was with was me.

    I really want to ask him to come up this upcoming weekend but I’m nervous he’ll reject that. I really like this guy and feel like a lot of potential is there but he’s so hot and cold its hard to truly know where we stand. I’ve met a couple really nice guys here who have asked me out but I turned them down because truly the only person I want to be with is him. But I’m sick of this grey “lets see what happens” area and don’t know what else to do.

    #83206
    jock
    Participant

    sorry just a brief comment about “hot and cold”.
    I thought I was reading a post from a guy complaining about his girlfriend.
    Hope things work out though.
    If this is truly the right guy for you, things will happen naturally.
    Relax.

    #83208
    Brian
    Participant

    Julie,

    Granted, I’m seeing your post through my own lens, but it seems to me that he may want that close connection with you but is afraid of it. Has he ever mentioned anything about his life experiences that might give you a sense of what kind of emotions he deals with consistently?

    Have you asked him why he doesn’t want to commit?

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