I have been with my boyfriend for four months. We get on great and the chemistry is something else. We talk every day and meet up at least two or three times a week. He says that he is serious about me and acts very caring towards me. However, I am find it hard to look beyond his past relationships. He is divorced with a kid, had another kid after that in a nine year relationship and then another after in year long relationship. I know he loves and supports his kids and maintains a good relationship with the mothers. He has been open and honest about all this from the start. I have not had kids though I want one and I am getting on a bit (early forties). He tells me that he want to have a family with me but I find myself giving him a hard time over his past. I don’t like doing this, remarks I make hurt him and he has told me that this is unfair. Am I been insecure about this? I worry that history will repeat itself and I’d end up a single mother. I tell him this and he says that no one can guarantee how anything works out regardless of their past. Should I just let go and find someone who has less history or am I been unfair and judging? I really care for him and don’t know what to do.
Well, chances are that he MIGHT have issues with committing for real with a woman? He might walk away when passion stops, or when difficulties arise? Or that he has been extremely unlucky with his previous spouses. One thing for sure: Our past isn’t speaking about our future. Being a single mom is hard but he might be the one for you! Ask him what was wrong his his past relations, you might get some insights. If he constantly blames his ex’s while telling the stories…then he could have a problem to see his own flaws. If he admits his faults, there’s hope.
I say give it time, nothing has to be decided now no?