New here, but I need some advice. I’m 32 and my sister 35. Family incredibly dysfunctional and she was estranged from our parents for years and still partly is. I had gone quite a while without talking to her because she is not the type of person I want in my life.

We started talking a couple of years ago. Her husband called me and told me he needed help, that she needed help bc she was an alcoholic and cheating on him. I was shocked. We were so close when we were younger. She was truly my best friend, but like I said, fell out of favor with each other.

Blood ties for me, at least, were strong so I’ve tried, along with my mother, to be there for her. When she was broken up over her affair, i told her it would get better and shared that in my darkest moment 6 yrs ago, I, too was unfaithful. I never told my bf and i have dealt with everything that comes with that.

She and her husband had a baby and she continued to drink. Last summer her husband told her that if she wanted to keep him and their child in her life, she would tell my bf what I had done. So she did – she wrote a letter and mailed it. I know how this makes me look, and I’m not trying to gloss over the horrible thing I did. She told me and I was able to get the letter. She begged me not to be mad and I forgave her.

But her drinking continued and we had a terrible fight last week. She threatened to tell my bf again and I told her to do it. And then when I asked her why she hadn’t return my calls all last week, She told me I didn’t deserve her calls because I’ve never done anything for her. Me. I live out of state so I don’t see her often. But I’ve been there for her ad much as possible.

When she’s called me at all hours of the night, sobbing and weeping over her wretched marriage, I’ve been there. When she drinks and leaves her husband calls me at all hours do i can get in touch with my mother to have her watch the baby. When she got arrested for domestic violence, again due to her drinking, i answered all her calls from jail. I’ve been there as much as possible, yet she screams at me and tells me when she and her husband were at their worst, their friends flew down to see if they were okay and I’ve never done anything for her.

She yelled at my mother, too, despite my mother watching her child for up to 8 hrs a day.

Tuesday, the day after our argument, she texted an insincere apology and said she hopes our relationship didn’t affect my relationship with her baby.

I haven’t responded. I told her previously i didn’t want to hear from her again, especially nit her insincere apologies.

Nit sure what I’m even asking. I’m so hurt that she said I’ve never done anything. She and her husband are so selfish and ungrateful. Do I have to accept her apology when all i want to do is move on from this relationship that brings nothing to me life?

Am i obligated to keep in touch with my nephew? How do i do that when he’s only 1 and i don’t want anything to do with his parents? Am i horrible for not wanting anything to do with my nephew, either? I know he’s innocent but I don’t want the negativity that a tie to him would bring. Should i respond to get email and tell her to only contact me again when she’s sober for an extended period and can offer a sincere apology?

• This topic was modified 8 years, 9 months ago by BlueHue.