Hello. Ive just created this account even though i have been reading the articles in this website for a long time, specially when i was going through a really difficult time. This is an effort for turning my life around.

You see, im just going to turn 25 and i finished university in 2015, i studied laws.

Growing up my family never had money and we always struggled to meet ends month. I had suffered also from abandonment from my father, although he neer really left, it seemed like he just stayed to make life more difficult and painful. I ended up choosing laws because it was always said that it was a well paid job and i wanted to get rid of my dad and help my mom fast. 2nd year o it and i was already sick of it… i had choosen something i didnt even believe in. Ive always being a creative pereson, but in front of necessity, creative work didnt seem like a good option, since i thought it wasnt a stable one. So i just continued on this career path that made me feel miserable but above all, missunderstood and out of place. i finished 6 years of that and of course, i had an existencial crisis. what am i doing this for? is it really worth it? it feels like its sucking the life out of me.

These 2 past years have been very hard. not feeling productive, feeling im being left behind and although ive grown tremendously ive always felt lacking and guilty because of the path i chose. “had i chosen another one, the one i wanted initially things would have been differently, happier maybe” was the thought i often had and maye still do. but i came to the conclusion that we are who we are because of the things we have lived. i wouldnt be who i am today and althought its been really hard and tiring and sad and dark, i think ive become a better person, kinder, more understanding.

As I said, ive always been a creative person. I wanted to learn to sew so i did, i wanted to make my own clothes so i did. Also, my first language is spanish and i taught myself english, im also learning french.

I just recently discovered that my passion are languages and design. i always knew i like this but i am sure now that it is what i want to do with my life, something i had so much trouble finding out.

Even thought i am much better, its still hard to find the motivation and perseverance to keep going, to be more self discipline, but im really trying, im really going to put my all. Because we can do it. We are not the paths we took nor the choices we made. That does not define us. Its what we make from that.

This post is an intent to leave all that guilt behind, i will no longer be a victim nor think aout what couldve had happened i am only looking forward and what i can do from now on. life keeps going all the time, we can always start over.

“I hope you live a life you’re proud of.

If you find out that you’re not, I hope you have the strenght to start all over again”

 

Thank you to whoever reads this. I send you love.