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  • #98757
    Lilly111
    Participant

    Hi, I’ve never posted before and it even feels strange writing my thoughts down.
    I could write a book on my situation and emotions.
    I’ll try to keep it short and to the point.
    My current state of mind is depressed I have no motivation and feel worthless.
    My husband and I moved to the other side of the world ( uk to Oz) 2 half years ago, at the time our 2 daughters (19 and 22) did not wish to relocate due to boyfriends and friends. The first year here was awful, I have never cried so much… Our life in the uk was in a rut and we were unhappy… So an opportunity to move was a massive challenge and breath of fresh air. It is beautiful and totally different living here, I can walk along the ocean in the warm most days opposed to walking along a smoggy car fumed road. I initially worked for 18 months which kept me sane but in November lost my job.
    I haven’t worked since and from that point have spent so much time in my own, I miss my daughters so much…we text every day, but I feel so guilty and can’t imagine living my life forever here just seeing them once a year.
    I left a massive network of family and friends and initially I was glad to get away from it all. But here I have struggled to make friends and lost all motivation to be bothered.
    I do yoga and practice meditation, it helps a little but the good feelings are short lived.
    I feel my confidence is lost, I’m becoming so lazy and just don’t care about myself.
    My husband is as supportive as possible, but he’s now had to become my everything, as I just have found it so hard making and keeping friends…..I long for those deep friendships that I left behind.

    I just don’t know where my life is anymore …… Should we go home back to the life we so wanted to get away from but back to our daughters or do we stay…. My head is a total mess……but one thing for sure is I miss my girls so very much ….

    #98765
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Lily111:

    I understand you wanting to get away from a “smoggy car fumed road” and the rut in the U.K.

    But I don’t understand wanting to get away from “a massive network of family and friends” that you initially were glad to get away from. Can you explain to me why you wanted to get away from this network of family and friends and why you were glad to get away from them?

    anita

    #99029
    Lilly111
    Participant

    Thank you for replying Anita.
    I met my husband when I was 15, we’ve been married 27 years now – we had always talked of emigrating but the time was never right. A job offer came along but by then the kids were adults. I suppose we just wanted to get away to try something different in our lives. We lived in close proximity of family ( one particular member being very toxic) – and just wanted a change – my husband has settled here but I miss our girls and friends so very much. I know I can’t have my cake and eat it and I know I’m very fortunate to have this opportunity – but I’m emotional weak …. And just feel empty and need to decide where I should be/live

    #99038
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Lily111:

    It is possible for you to get clarity where you are now, possible to get clarity through communication with another, here, maybe. If you would like, we can communicate about your situation back and forth until you get clarity. At least this is a worthy aim, goal. So, if you are willing, aim at clarity and the calm that comes with it…?

    As to my question about leaving behind the massive network of family and friends, you are saying that one member (family?) back in the UK is “very toxic”- who, how is he/ she toxic and how often did you interact with that person in the UK? Are you still in contact with him/ her, online or on the phone?

    Are there other members of your family and friends in the UK who is also toxic, maybe less so, but still? How often did you interact with them in the UK and are you still in contact with them?

    How are your girls doing in the UK? Are they doing not as well as they did when you were present in the UK? Same or better?

    anita

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