I’m with you brother. I didn’t even LIKE her for much of the relationship, and I am floored by how hard it has been. I really did not expect it.

Part of it is that she moved on to someone else immediately. In fact, while I don’t think they were having a physical affair, they were having an emotional one, and that other person probably encouraged her to break up. Even though it was a mutual break up, I feel resentful that possibly someone else, who was a FRIEND, has had a hand in something they should have stepped back from.

It’s been a month, and today, I sobbed. I want to contact her, ask her why she couldn’t wait, that I feel so dishonored. I am so glad that i didn’t.

Dear jim:

You come across to me as a very authentic person in your posts: emotional, spontaneous, not editing yourself much…typing it as it is, and I like what I see (in your posts) very much. Your emotions are raw and they “scream” out of the computer screen… which makes you very real to me, honest. In my mind, this makes you very desirable to a woman who would be interested in the real thing, real emotions, honesty…

Your pain of rejection, her being cold to you, the pain of lack of mutuality of attachment is strong in you. I see it. Please keep posting for as long as you need to, for as long as it is helpful to you…

anita