I am currently enrolled in a master’s program, primarily because I have been told so often that it is the “right” thing to do, and because it is common for those in my field of work. I have only taken a few semesters of courses with very light course loads but feel that I am struggling terribly. All my life I have pushed myself hard for academic perfection, putting intense pressure on myself to get the best grades while balancing either serious extracurricular activities in high school or working full time while earning my undergraduate degree full time. I am now working in my dream job and finally feel settled after years of being transient for both academic and career reasons. While my workplace urges me to earn my master’s, the tangible impacts to my career of obtaining this degree is limited, with little room for advancement in terms of both work roles or financial incentives. I am perfectly content in my current role, happy with both my salary and my job responsibilities and opportunities in my career.

While I have some level of interest in the courses I have taken in graduate school, I ultimately feel burned out from years of pushing myself so hard and feel to be in a place mentally where I want to excel professionally in my day to day career but also want to be able to balance this with being able to travels and celebrate life milestones that I have delayed previously. Logically, I can tell myself that part time graduate courses should be easier to balance than my previous workload, but I feel myself slipping into patterns of extreme anxiety stemming from these additional graduate responsibilities and the need to succeed.

I feel that I have always suffered from anxiety related issues and very dark periods of depression. I am finding myself feeling worse and worse as I feel that I cannot enjoy being where I am currently and feeling as if I am not “enough” if I do not complete this degree. I know many people make sacrifices for career and education and likely feel the way I do, but in my position I find it difficult to find the incentive to do this while my mental health is deteriorating at such a rate with no end goal to look forward to. In some ways I am disappointed in myself for not being more motivated, but at the same time I have been fearing for my mental health and prioritizing being happy in my personal life and not just my academic and professional life. I am not sure I have the type of personality that lets me balance both of these in a healthy way. Should I continue to push myself, or take the break that I so deeply desire?