Lashay,

The short answer is: by helping yourself open up and love yourself instead of helping him. It brought an image of two people in a vehicle that gets stuck in the mud. You got out, and started pushing, then, as the car started moving forward, you fell into the mud, and he sped off. “What about me? Hey!” You deserve better, deserved better, but that’s life.

So what can you do? Stand up, wipe the mud from your face, and start walking toward town. Said differently, now that he’s off doing something different, perhaps you can start asking yourself the questions that need answering. “What about me? Who am I? What do I want? What makes me happy?” And no, “him” isn’t an appropriate answer to any of those. As you spend some time being alone, caring for yourself, nurturing yourself, the painful emotions will settle, the gravity of his tweets will vanish, and you’ll begin to glow with happiness again. Then, next time perhaps you won’t give to someone that takes, and wait to give yourself to someone that gives back. That’s when the fireworks remain, and the relationship can grow indefinitely.

With warmth,
Matt

Hey Lashay, I find myself in a similar situation to you, although the circumstances of our breakup are a little different. I just wanted to say that you are not alone and that there are lots of people out there struggling with the same emotions. I find loving myself is the hardest thing to do after a life of external validation. Matt’s advice is fantastic (thank you Matt), it’s all about loving ourselves before we can love other people. There’s a saying that goes something like “don’t make your happiness dependent on something you can lose”. I keep reminding myself of this – I can’t lose myself so I have to start there. My advice would be shut him down on Twitter for a while, watching him means you aren’t focussing on you. It’s hard to cut of all contact but it will help you recover and move on. Best wishes. Jo