Stuck outside of the group i want to be in

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    i’ve always had friends, but in the past year the people i have been hanging out with have formed an inner circle of popular people, and i am stuck on the outside. i want to be in this circle! i want to become a part of that, and experience real friendship and know that i’m a part of the most popular group in my grade. i just want to be happy, i really do, and this is the only way for me. if there is any advice you can give me on how to become part of this group, weather it’s using “The Secret” or anything, please let me know. i’ve hit rock bottom and i could use all the help i can get. Please help me


    Hi Ash,
    I have a few questions for you. I apologize if they seem intrusive, but I am trying to better understand your situation. The questions are as follow:

    Are you comfortable being yourself and like yourself regardless of the situation?
    How do you view your friends? Do you respect them and if so what do you respect about them?
    How do you think your friends would describe you?

    Warrior of Light


    I too am curious about how much these popular people are influencing your self-worth and self-esteem. While this is just guess work on my behalf, I’m sensing feelings of shame as if “I’m not good enough to be accepted and included (in this group)”. I know what we humans crave the most is unconditional love and unconditional acceptance, and it doesn’t seem like you are getting any of this from the popular people. And while I don’t personally know you, you seem like you’re being forced to be someone deep down you are not in order to be accepted by these people.

    Also, I would suggest you take some time and actually list what qualities you look for in “real friendships”, because it doesn’t seem like you have real friendship even in your present social group, let alone this inner circle of popular people. Don’t sacrifice yourself – the core of who you are – for these people. In my personal experience the cost of being inauthentic and superficial in order to gain social acceptance is TOO high, and I never really felt any happier (only on a superficial/surface level). Plus, “real friends” would never ask you to be someone you’re not. Why? Because they accept you for WHO YOU ARE!!! Not who you are trying to be.

    And in regards to using “The Secret”: your reality is merely a culminations of your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs being projected onto the external world, manifesting as what you see/belief as “reality”. You can manipulate, deceive, and seduce all the people you want in order to gain power, success, and acceptance; but in the long run you’ll never feel “real” and thus you’ll never feel truly happy (unless of course you’re a sociopath or a politician lol). As you change your self-talk (what you say to yourself in your mind), the beliefs you have about yourself, and relate to your feelings with more openness your external reality will change and become more congruent to what you TRULY feel, think, believe internally.

    As with Sean’s first question: until you can love and accept yourself you’ll never feel loved or accepted by others. If you don’t love and accept yourself, now is the perfect time to explore those inner messages telling you you’re not worthy of love and acceptance.

    Peace and love.

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