Home→Forums→Relationships→sudden breakup with bf…. need help!!!!
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December 14, 2014 at 4:25 am #69221purnitaParticipant
Hi all
I met my bf last year during my internship for physiotherapy. We had something for each other from starting but got into relationship after 3 months. He proposed to me within few days of our relationship and i said yes. He said that he has talked to his parents and they will go according to his wishes.I told my parents about it later but they refused initially because our horoscopes didnt match but somehow convinced them.We started concentrating on our career and continued with our relation as we had taken time from our parents to study.all this was in january of this year.We had been going strong till now and never had any issues.Just yesterday he texted me saying he cant continue with the relationship because his parents are not agreeing.He has been trying to convince them from last 3 months but they are not ready to accept giving some vague reasons about horoscope and my career choice as i cannot be a housewife.
All this suddenly seems like overwhelming.We had planned our future together.His actions showed that he loved me and still loves me but cant continue the relationship. But at the same time he doesnt want me to tell it to my parents because he still hopes that it may work out but he is not ready to commit.though he said he cannt commit but wanted to talk to me as a friend but i said no as it would not allow me to get over him.I texted him next day and with all the chat it seemed hopeless for me to wait for him.
i Dont know how much i should trust him and whether or not i should have any hopes. moreover it was my first relationship and with this kind of experience may be last as well.I dont know how o get over it.I am a career oriented person and cannt waste my precious time.I miss him everytme i see my phone though i have deleted him from my contact list and facebook.
i cannt figure out what to do.December 14, 2014 at 5:07 am #69222AParticipantNeither of you should be basing your relationship and/or life choices on the opinions or wants of your parents. Ultimately, if you both love eachother and have decided to spend your lives together, then it is YOUR decision to continue your relationship, not theirs. Our parents are around in our adult lives to offer guidance and support as needed – not to tell us what to do with our lives. On the other end, if he is willing to drop everything because his parents changed their mind, maybe it is time to reevaluate your relationship and see how well you truly know eachother.
December 14, 2014 at 9:12 am #69226purnitaParticipant@ Infinite 710 thank uuuu soo much…..Actually that is the thing because we both understand each other so well and felt like we were meant to be but all this all of a sudden is devastating.And i know i should not wait for him and moreover it has just been two days to this so yess it will take time.
December 15, 2014 at 2:46 am #69268jheelParticipantHi!
keep strong; ull definitely feel better as days go by. my story is somewhat similar to yours. our breakup happened two weeks ago. and like you, i met him at work, starting liking each other, he proposed, i accepted and we embarked on a beautiful relationship. i felt as if we were meant to be, that he was the one. i dreamt of our future together. everything was good until the day he told his parents about us.his parents wanted to have our horoscope checked, and to my greatest disbelief, our horoscope did not match. without seeing me nor knowing me, his parents insisted that he should leave me. and that’s what he did. he told me he was not going against his parents and that we should quit then itself. i was shattered. i could not believe that a good relationship, where we both understood, trusted and loved each other, would just dissolve because of his parents and the stars.
well, i did some thinking during those two weeks and i realised, is it really worth to be with a guy who believes in the stars to make a relationship work. personally, i am not against horoscope matching, are relationships built upon the stars only or do they require work from both parties?
he was willing to let go of a good relationship where the stars didnt match, but maybe one day, he wont let go of an unhappy and unhealthy relationship where the stars do match.
i never asked him to go against his parents, but he could atleast try to convince them and try to reason with them. but this is not what he did. instead he agreed to leave me and accepted to go for an arranged marriage.
and what about the roles of the parents? indeed they are here for guidance and support, but imposing their wants and likes upon their children, is this right? definitely i would not want to be the daughter in law in such a house, where i have to suppress my own wishes and live according to the parents’ in law wishes.
i am still healing from this break up..but maybe in the long run, ill be happy about his decision.
December 15, 2014 at 6:11 am #69273lokeshBParticipantHey Hi!!
Just be strong and Hang in before the time does its own miracles..I guess the best step in right direction for anyone is to make the decision to get over someone !!So one of the major step is already done!! I’m not gonna give reasons to comprehend whether his decision was right or he messed it up . I can really understand the emotional entanglements that our parents can impose on us because of their own reasons.All I’m gonna talk about is U. U didn’t make the decision of calling it off ! Even if he changes his mind or thinks you are more worthy and can stand for you in front of his parents let him earn you again..If the relationship between u and him is gonna blossom again ,it will and this phase would have only made your relationship stronger… These words are from a person who respects the emotions and till now I have been trying to force to think myself as the most important person for me.Just try to wither the storm and accept the fact that you can’t escape the pain but one can only come over by going through it .. Try to keep yourself as engaged as possible in things that interests you ..As you areacareer oriented person..just try to focus yourself on it ..It’s gonna be difficult but just believe in yourself..I don’t have an iota of doubt that you are gonna be over it in matter of time..Even if you are not in mood to smile ..Just try to..half the job is already done..don’t ever loose your hope by the results but gain it through the progress you have made in overcoming this emotional debacle…Please think that You are not alone!! Cheer up!!You will heal..
December 15, 2014 at 7:06 am #69276EsteParticipantHey @strivingforsuccess ,
I just want you to know that all of us have the inner strength to overcome any obstacles as long as we believe that we can.
I was supposed to get married end November this year but I called off the entire engagement and wedding. It wasn’t because the love wasn’t there between both of us but it wasn’t deep and strong enough. It wasn’t the most pleasant scenario to have a fiance who allows his mother to run the show. It was the most painful and hardest decision of my life thus far but hey, better now than after marriage and kids right? 🙂
So, I’m healing. Taking this time to do the things I want to do. Read, pray, chant, eat, daze…anything. Basically, anything that makes you feel content and appreciate the present. Because, every second is going to be a past.
Sometimes, we don’t need to be happy all the time. We can learn to be neutral too. No happiness, no sadness. Just serenity and contentment at work. It feels nice. Sit with the pain, hurt, grieve…it is ok. It will guide you to be a more positive person. 🙂
姻缘是天定。有缘千里来相会,无缘对面不相逢。
Marriage fate is up to the heavenly decision. No distance can prevent the couple from being together. If a couple is not meant to be, they can be beside each other but never meet.I believe in fate and destiny. So, while we wait for our paths to cross with our “The Ones”, let’s grow ourselves with all the positive vibes. Who knows, it may accelerate the process because we are too attractive. 😀
Cheers my dear. -huggs!-
December 15, 2014 at 8:55 am #69280purnitaParticipantThank uu all……I am sure to learn a lot from this forum. The guy offered me to be my friend and guide forever.Infact he said that he wants to leave everything on time and focus on our careers. Moreover we were in the long distance relationship.We both still have some hope left and have decided to be friends.
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