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Sudden silence from my partner

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  • February 20, 2017 at 1:17 am #128451
    es
    Participant

    Me and my boyfriend have had kind of a bad relationship (at least from my view). We are happy together when we hang out, but whenever we talk over social media, we start fighting. I can’t help feeling that he’s losing his feelings for me whenever we don’t talk for a while. He usually talks to me throughout the day via social media, it’s not often we get to see each other because he needs time to figure things out. A couple of days ago he went silent. For those of you interested in astrology, he’s an Aquarius and I’m a Leo. He used to ask me at least five times a day what I was doing and sent me links to articles he wanted me to read. Now, he’s not saying a thing. He’s usually the one to initiate conversation because I’m not very good at that. I’ve asked him about it and he says nothing is wrong. There’s more to it, he’s using a really long time to answer me. Whenever we hang out, he answers his phone or text people right away he get notifications. I really can’t help feeling he’s ignoring me or doesn’t want to talk to me anymore because of things I have said and done in the past. I’ve lashed out when he’s been out drinking with friends because he then usually sees my messages but doesn’t reply, and that leads me to thinking he’s busy with another girl or doesn’t care for talking to me. He says that I know how he is and that I shouldn’t worry, he just plans on answering me later but then forgets about it. I love him with all my heart because he is such a good partner when we are together, but I’ve been feeling down almost the whole relationship (almost two years now) and this is not how I want to feel when sharing my life with another person. I don’t want to tell him about it because I’m afraid that he’s going to think I’m not fit for a relationship and break up with me. I’m quite aware that I shouldn’t base my happiness off other people and I agree with that, it’s just really hard to actually not feel this way when you love a person a little too much. I will appreciate every kind of help I can get, thanks to all of you in advance.

    February 20, 2017 at 2:56 am #128459
    Jaclyn
    Participant

    We may be long lost twins.

    The exact same thing just happened to me.

    Me and my bf were totally fine and out nowhere he just started ignoring me.

    Never answered my texts. Always cancelled plans. Would leave current plans early.

    The anxiety it gave me was unreal. I literally would cry like once a week and was just so unhappy.

    I can honestly say for the past two weeks since we broke up I haven’t been happier. I no longer worry of him going MiA and being stressed out.

    I know it wasn’t my fault. It was his.

    Your bf should cause you happiness not stress.

    And you should feel loved and not deal with this nonsense insecurities.

    You are better than him!! Your time is too precious to waste on some dude who doesn’t appreciate and love you.

    Hope this could help you.

    February 20, 2017 at 9:47 am #128515
    es
    Participant

    I’m very sorry you and your partner split up, but glad you’re feeling better.
    This is very hard to explain. He do love me and he do appreciate me, I feel very loved whenever we are together, just not when we talk over social media.

    February 20, 2017 at 10:05 am #128521
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear es:

    You wrote:”I can’t help feeling that he’s losing his feelings for me whenever we don’t talk for a while”- and that makes me think that you need him to be in contact with you a whole lot, so that you feel safe. The danger is: if not in contact, he won’t love you anymore.

    Maybe he takes his time answering you because he needs alone time. He may be answering others on social media because it doesn’t take that much time, they don’t demand such from him.

    anita

    February 20, 2017 at 4:09 pm #128557
    PaulDavid
    Participant

    I’m new to Tiny Buddha, but I can speak from an aquarian’s point of view. I believe there are 3 lives in every relationship,(my life, her life, and our life together). This has caused some misunderstandings in my past. When I’m away from my wife, whether at work or club function, etc. I am in my life, what she is doing in her life is not my concern nor do I feel like what I’m doing away is of hers. Of course, if I was to do something that did directly affect her, it would fall back under our life together. But, when we are together and the kids are in bed, then our time together becomes all inclusive at that moment. I can not speak directly for your boyfriend, but for me, I am very much a typical aquarian male. Focused mainly on the exact moment of where I am at and what is ahead. My wife use to ge to feeling the same. But as we talked and I became willing to acknowledge how she felt. We find ways to work through. Our 9th anniversary is in just under two weeks.

    “Change begins with Hope”
    PaulDavid

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