Firstly I would like to say that I am the type of person who is addicted to the thrill of the “chase” … when I was younger I noticed that I would like a guy until I realized I had him and then would lose interest completely…the first guy I ever fell in love with almost murdered me…and the second one cheated and manipulated me….so…it’s fair to say I was really attracted to friggin A holes….anyways, my boyfriend and I were best friends for ten years before dating…. He’s the best guy, respects me just like my father respects my mother….He’s safe…I feel comfort in that….although….

I’m concerned because I only had that butterfly feeling for the first couple weeks before it faded but I know I love him. I just don’t feel it…. I often get irritated for no reason….I don’t want sex ever….I’m rarely affectionate because I feel it will make him think I want to have sex….

I don’t know what’s going on with me and how to get myself to want to have sex…..we do have good sex but I have no sex drive….

I feel terrible but I just don’t know what to do and I’m depressed that I feel I’ll never have the same feelings I did with my first two guys I fell in love with…partly because I feel (for me) I subconsciously knew they weren’t the type to stay loyal so I desperately wanted to believe that they would be loyal FOR me and when they weren’t…it crushed me but…that thrill I think contributed to my “love” in a weird way…not sure if any of this makes sense…

Long story short, I dated a bunch of assholes, now I’m finally with the GOOD guy….how do I get that infatuating spark back?

-Taylor