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The Phantom of Love

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Viewing 5 posts - 31 through 35 (of 35 total)
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  • August 23, 2016 at 10:37 am #113081
    Butterfly
    Participant

    Hello CMI,

    Yes…. Although I am getting over him and it is getting easier dya by day. I am with you. AT this point I know I shouldn’t care but part of me see’s him as a Darth Vadar type (Bad but with good still in him). When we were together most of the time he was wonderful so it’s just hard for me to believe sometimes that it was all just a façade. I think he is a damaged person who does not know how to love “correctly”. At times he was so loving & caring but I can only assume it was part of his sociopathic charm. I still pray for him everyday and although he crushed me I struggle with still loving & caring for him and hating him for what he did to me. And yes it is a very hard pill to swallow. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am surely not the only person he as victimized he is very good and has probably had lots of practice before me so I shouldn’t be so hard on myself that I “fell” for it all. I am hoping he will leave me alone asap so I can completely move on. I think he sends the texts just so I will not forget him. How cruel. GOD help me. Thank you! I am trying!!

    Butterfly

    August 23, 2016 at 10:54 am #113082
    Robin
    Participant

    I am sorry for your loss. Reading your post made me so sad for you, but at the same time I know you were released from pain as well. Best of luck to you.

    August 24, 2016 at 10:14 am #113137
    Butterfly
    Participant

    CMI & Anita,

    UGH!!! So I was doing so good with not responding to his generic texts (which before I would have). So this morning he sent me three texts being mean….something he hasn’t really done before. He actually said “don’t bother to reply, I don’t care that much.” as the last an final text. That hurt even though it shouldn’t. MY friend said he only said that because he is actually hurt that I have been ignoring his texts. But Now I am stressed out again. I added him back in my contacts just so I could block is number again. I am afraid if and what he will send next. I am just confused if he doesn’t give a damn about me (STILL NOC ACTUALL calls just 5 texts messages in three weeks). WHY bother being mean now?? I have to be honest I REALLY wanted to fire back at him and say how can you be upset with me because I pulled a YOU on You?? You frequently ignored me in our relationship so YOU caused me to now ignore you and now you want to ATTACK me for it? Please I don’t want us to be enemies. I just want it to be over amicacably if that’s possible. Should I just keep him blocked and ignore his tirades? Or respond by saying there is no needs to be mean a vicious. Lets just part ways without all the negativity? Thanks!

    Butterfly

    August 24, 2016 at 11:39 am #113152
    Call Me Ishmael
    Participant

    Hi, rwalston.

    I would guess that your reply is intended for me.

    Thank you for your kind thoughts and words. The most intense part of the pain is over, but there is the lingering, dull pain of getting over the loss of someone I cared about and loved very much, however much of an illusion she was.

    Thank you. I hope the best for you, too.

    CMI

    August 24, 2016 at 11:41 am #113153
    Call Me Ishmael
    Participant

    Hi, Butterfly.

    Sorry; I meant to reply to you yesterday, but I got sidetracked.

    Of course, I don’t know what is going through his mind, but I imagine that his texts are intended to test the waters of stringing you along.

    Regarding his hurtful texts, I imagine that he is intentionally trying to get a response from you, not unlike a child who, when he can’t get the positive attention he wants, tries to get negative attention instead. If you respond, he gets what he wants, and then the door has opened for him to turn on the nice side to try to get you back into the push-pull cycle.

    It is up to you, but I suggest that you do not respond to anything. What would be the productive purpose in responding? If he cannot have a positive, beneficial relationship with you, and you do not want to be in a negative, destructive relationship with him, what would be the purpose of delaying your healing and getting on with your life by entering into any kind of a dialogue with him, be it via text, e-mail, telephone, etc.?

    CMI

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