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tired of being me

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  • #50124
    wayliin
    Participant

    first of all, I have to apologise for my bad writing because english and writing just isnt my forte.

    I have been struggling with being myself lately. I am an introvert, feeling the pressure from the outside world to speak up, express myself, learn to make small talks, have better eye contact etc.. I try to make an effort but it exhausts me. I began to read books abt introverts and extroverts and honestly im happy to be the way I am. I wanna stay this way! but deep down I know sth has to change if not I cant survive in this society. I look at my peers and families who manage to break out of their comfort zones. I cant help feeling bad and guilty for myself. I cant stop blaming myself for not making more effort.
    there are these constant voices in my head telling me “u have to try harder, u have to change” abd another voice coaxibg me “thr is nth wrong w staying who u are”. im sooooo torn apart.

    and recently ive been constantly been rejected from job interviews (or not getting any interview infact) so there is another pressure of being unemployed. ALSO, i really have no idea what i wanna do :/ i wanna try sth new but im scared then I wanna stay the same but i know I will die of boredom… my mind is always running with these useless worries n fears and I dunno how to stop it.
    I still have many trivial problems but I think I should stop here for now. thank YOU for reading this very boring story. I REALLY APPRECIATE your listening ear. 🙂

    #50125
    Rishi Pathak
    Participant

    Join any mindfullness meditation centre and feed yourself consciously with +ve thoughts even if your subconscious feels that you are lying.. You yourself will find a way out.

    #50132
    Marty Kenton
    Participant

    I completely understand what your going through. I feel the same thing, though I do have a job which is the perfect mixture of my experience and my degree, but I still do not feel happy with it. I am a big fan of the show How I Met Your Mother, and on their most recent episode a naked man on a couch holding a cello, named Mitch, had some very profound advice for the mother, – to find what she wants to do with her life and follow that dream. The Mother wishes to end poverty, and is told by Mitch to let every decision and action in her life be influenced by that goal. That is the most brilliant advice I have heard in some time. I am still wanting to follow it myself when I figure out what I want to do. Hope this helps.

    #50153
    Anna
    Participant

    Hi Wayliin,

    I am an introvert too, so completely understand how you feel. I also find that my introverted-ness can hold me back at times. But being an introvert can definitely be your strength.

    It sounds like you want to discover who you are and how your personality can shine through to others so you can lead a successful life. You do not have to change who you are. But you can discover who you are, and let your personality shine through. Once your qualifications are checked, employers select employees based on their personality. That doesn’t mean you have to be an outrageous fake bubbly happy go-get-em giggle fest. You just have to be authentically you.

    What is your authentic self? What qualities do you have that other people like? What do your friends say about you? Are you intelligent, thoughtful, fun, easy to get along with, helpful, quick witted, funny, caring, wise etc? and how could these qualities make you a great employee? Are you good at working autonomously, solving problems, thinking on your feet, assisting other employees, a pleasant employee etc?

    You don’t have to know what you want to do. I have had several career changes, and even now operate 3 completely unrelated businesses. All you have to do is give something a go that interests you. You are not locked into that for life. If you want to try something else, then you simply move on.

    We are all evolving as people. It is ok to evolve your career 🙂

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