Dear livelife:

How to live your OWN life, is your question; how to live life as if.. it is yours to live?

Start small and start today. Then every day, taking opportunities in your present life, as is, to practice. No opportunity is too small to be meaningful. Each opportunity used will make you more capable to live your own life in bigger ways.

As you practice, in a small way today, notice the anxiety that such practice will bring about and proceed slowly. If you are overwhelmed, stop, take a break, relax and resume later.

Example: you normally wash the dishes right after dinner because your husband likes it that way and so, you are used to doing it HIS way. Today, you do something different. Following dinner, you do not wash the dishes. (Notice: you may feel anxious, waiting for his disapproval). You get busy doing something else, watching TV, let’s say. If he says something, calmly say: “You can wash the dishes yourself, if you’d like. I am not feeling like it right now.” (Notice, is your heart beginning to race? Stay with the feeling, calm yourself).

I can go on with this example. But if you like my suggestion, please bring up your own example and we can work on it.

There is a lot in your original message here and we can discuss more of it. It will take time but if you are willing, we will take that time.

anita