LC — this does sound like a difficult situation. Troubles in friendship aren’t talked about as much as troubles in romance, but our friends can be just as important to us. Having friendship troubles can bring great stress and sadness into our lives.

I have actually been witness to many situations like yours: best friends are inseparable, one friend has a child, other friend goes MIA. Sometimes they reconcile, sometimes they don’t, but it’s far more common than you might know (which doesn’t necessarily make it hurt any less.)

I think this can happen for a few reasons (as every friendship is different) but a commonality is that a great change has occurred. A baby is a wonderful addition, but often when one person changes in a friendship (whether it’s by having a baby, getting into a relationship, experiencing success/failure, etc) it can bring about a shift in dynamic. It isn’t always out of malice or ill will, either…sometimes the other person just doesn’t know how to change along with you, and thus they distance themselves. (Painful or unfair as that might be.)

I did notice that you said this was “an incredibly close friend” and that she “brings out the best qualities” in you. To me that line speaks to a sincere regard you still have for her, albeit one that’s been hurt and let down by her as well.

I believe that a part of long term friendship is forgiveness. I have a few very dear friends that mean the world to me, but they’re people who have also let me down in the past. (Similarly, I have let them down as well.)

Within each of these friendships I’ve had to ask myself a few questions: how important are they to my life? How do I feel when I’m with them? Does the good outweigh the bad?

I also have to ask…can I talk to this person about what I’m feeling?

Which brings me to the question I have for you, LC…Is this something you would be comfortable talking about with your friend? It might allow you to heal either way: whether you decide to continue the friendship, or not.

Best of luck with this, xx