I am 56 and the youngest of three girls. We grew up in fairly dysfunctional home with an alcoholic mother and absent father. My parents have both recently passed and it feels like my sisters and I stuck in old dysfunctional roles that are quite literally leaving me feeling empty, hurt and damaged every time I see them. 3 years ago i was booked on a flight to see them and had a panic attack at the gate of the airport and left to return home never making the trip- I just couldn’t do it… I recently returned to my hometown for a weekend visit with them after not seeing them for almost 4 years and the visit could not have ended on a more negative note. The 3 of us immediately fell into our familial roles. My oldest sister (the caretaker and martyr), my middle sister (the neglected and target one of my mothers abuse) and me the baby (the one who my sisters apparently perceived my mothers favorite all these years) My sisters have never been overly kind to me, accepting of me or happy for any of my accomplishments. What I experienced with them on this weekend after our first reunion after my mothers death was nothing short of abuse. I was suddenly 8 again. I have a medical condition that has caused me to lose weight. I was told that my medical condition is simply made up for attention. I was told that I am embarrassment to the family. I was ridiculed for my clothes, my hair, my makeup, my career choice. Now mind you I don’t know what i would have done to embarrass the family… as i can assure that I am happy productive member of society. I have left this “sister’s” weekend feeling really down and broken hearted. I just don’t know if its worth it to continue to have a relationship with toxic family family members. I just dont know if i can- i feel like i have a duty to myself first and foremost, to take care of myself?