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Unable to help my mother who suffers from chronic depression

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  • October 13, 2018 at 8:54 am #230685
    Ridhi
    Participant

    My mother is almost 55 years old now and have been suffering from anxiety and depression since when she was just 22 years old. I did not have a very happy childhood and was mostly indoors. My parents argued a lot everyday and they separated only a few years back. After I went to college, my friends and seniors helped me get better. But for nearly 6-7 years now, I am having trouble with helping my mother. She overthinks everything to a much greater extent, she doesn’t have any friends and refuses to let anyone in her life as well. She mostly argues or blames herself and links every situation to a past experience. At times, her nature affects me and most of the times I am very worried that she is not listening to us and refusing to get any professional help (like a therapy). I am 27 now, and my relationship with my mom affects my relationship with others..her anger, hatred, and non forgiving nature is affecting me sometimes. Any advice for me?

    October 13, 2018 at 9:02 am #230711
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Ridhi:

    My advice to you is that as difficult as it would  be for you, turn away from your mother, and start living your own life. Give yourself a chance to truly live your life. You have that right, to live your own life.

    Your job on this earth is not to be a helper for another so that she can live her life. Not if it is a stranger and not if she is your mother. It is simply not your job, not your responsibility.

    Plus, it is a job that can’t be done. You weren’t able to help her so far and you will continue to fail in your efforts. It is simply not in your power to change your mother’s brain, to get in there and rewire the connections made there since she was a child, so that she no longer experiences anxiety and depression.

    You will see how difficult it is for you to rewire your own brain by living your own life while the compulsion is to be stuck trying -yet again, and again- to help her.

    anita

    October 14, 2018 at 3:54 am #230869
    Ridhi
    Participant

    @anita I agree. Thank you

    October 14, 2018 at 7:05 am #230881
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You are welcome, Ridhi. Post again anytime.

    anita

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