Tulips,

It seems to me that you have two components of difficult circling around one another. There is the pain of missing him, and the anxiety the pain inspires. This is perhaps sending your mind into the future, projecting stories of how the relationship with end. Long distance relationships are difficult enough without being distracted by the what ifs, as instead of appreciating what is, we become distracted. A few things came to heart as I read your words.

It is possible to build a foundation at a distance, it is just more difficult for many. Sometimes when we miss our partner, we could be sitting next to them and feel the missing rather than feeling them. Said differently, the burden of long distance can prevent good connection even when it is available. To overcome this, it helps to spend time finding acceptance of the current situation and make the best of it… such as spending time settling your emotions prior to the connection, rather than through it. Instead of “can we do this?” during the time you share, consider “what are you experiencing? What have you seen, smelled, heard, and felt since our last touch?”

This helps the connection remain nourishing, building, instead of “self pitying”. All relationships have difficulties, and whether or not this intimacy will remain stable through time and distance is between you two and your hearts. Good luck!

With warmth,
Matt