Hi…

• I’m Lacy and I am in a relationship that I’m not completely sure I want be in and here is my reason why…I’ve had a rough childhood in a abusive home that had no love or affection so I wouldn’t know love if it hit me in the face…that had ruined my respect toward Men total on a plus side I know what I don’t want in men my problem is when I never had love how can I know the difference of it. Apparently I have been attracting the men who were all wrong for me, my 1st relationship I attempted he became abusive plus after finding out that he was still married just separated from his wife after we have been together over 6 months my heartache begin. This relationship lead me to put guards up, after months of the single life I meet this guy who approach me differently and actually attempted to pursue me and not just want to sleep with me and move on…..we actually hit it off pretty well…just when I thought this could be the one he disappears…No contact or anything after waiting a month or so another let down pierced my heart again. After awhile I get a letter from him stating what had happen so naively I gave it another try….after 2years goes by i’m in love at least i thought so until I called his phone and got his VM I had access to his entry code so I snooped and to my surprise there was a female voice my heart broke into a million pieces. I later called this female an we had a very long talk which lead to us calling him on altogether…..things weren’t what they seem so we continued to talk only this time trust issue are in the air heavy especially for me eventually we take some time apart…I meet someone else we have a fling for a while…I became pregnant and ended up staying with that guy almost 5years but my heart was never fully there because I gave it to the guy that swept me away silly me……meanwhile my current relationship was starting to fall apart and we ended up splitting up 2years goes by we have a child together so we co-parent….I back tracked because the heart wants what the heart wants and Now I am back with the guy who I fell in love with and we were taking things slow only this time we decide to move in with each other….things were okay at first until we got into a heated argument that made me rethink who I just invited into my home….I do love him but um afraid to get my heartbroken again while in the process of trying to learn how to love some truly by trying to love myself 1st. After all he has many other great qualities about him and we had a great time together. I don’t want to ruin something that could be well worth the effort by letting my insecurities get to me and being able to let someone love me again and me love them back hole-hardheartedly.