Waves of Depression/Anxiety

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This topic has 4 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 4 months ago by Anonymous.

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June 30, 2018 at 8:13 pm #214863

Victoria
Participant

LHi everyone. I’m seeking a little advice.

About two weeks ago, I ate some edibles and had a major panic attack. Well, two days later I ended up falling into a depressive episode. I’ve experienced these episodes before, but it’s been a good few years.

I’m 27 and have a full time job. Unfortunately, this bout has left me unable to work for a short period of time. I work with surgical patients on the phone and it had become too difficult to concentrate. I’m currently staying with my parents and they’re a wonderful support system. They eat well and exercise, so participating in this with them has helped lighten my mood.

However, I’m having a very hard time snapping back to myself. I have moments where I feel great and in control, but then the sadness creeps back. I’m trying to observe it/let us pass and I know this takes practice, but it hurts and it’s discouraging when I feel like I’m unable to.

Anyway, I’ve always been interested in meditation and I plan to go to my local Buddha center tomorrow morning to see what it’s all about. Does anyone have any tips on how I should delve into this?

I’m also seeking counseling and using a few relaxation techniques my counselor shared with me.

I want to feel better. I don’t want to feel despair and pointlessness in my life. I want to be fulfilled and content… I feel so lost, though. The most lost I’ve felt in a long, long time. I’ll also start to think about upsetting things like human trafficking, rape, and the sorrows of others- that will begin to eat away at me and make me feel guilty. I feel guilty for being sad about a small, insignificant thing (like being single) because I know others have it so much worse. It’s like a cycle.

Does anyone have any insight or advice?

Thank you in advance.

July 1, 2018 at 4:37 am #214895

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Victoria:

You area already receiving/ practicing good advice and encouragement: eat well, exercise, meditate, practice relaxation techniques, attend counseling.

You wrote: “I’ll start to think about… the sorrows of others… I feel guilty for being sad about a small insignificant thing (like being single) because I know others have it so much worse”-

The intensity and persistence of your sadness is evidence that what you are sad about is not insignificant. Please do share about it here. If you do, I will read attentively and reply further.

anita

July 1, 2018 at 6:21 am #214923

Kumar
Participant

Dear Victoria,

@ “First become stable then act”. You need to take in charge your mind, body, emotion and energy. Meditation is key to this, go ahead, you will see the result. Type of food u consume and consistent exercise will take care your body.

@You cant control what is happening in the outside world, don’t bother much, otherwise you will be exhausted. You only can think how you can contribute to the society, whichever way and in whatever scale.

@Establish yourself, walk your path, u will get fulfillment.

July 1, 2018 at 6:22 pm #215027
Victoria
Participant
Hello Anita and Kumar,

Thank you for your replies.

I get depressed about my obsessive thoughts, my longing for a relationship, my lack of career growth, what others think of me, my weight, my inability to fully be an adult without bouts of much needed emotional support from my parents, difficulties making decisions and the fear of where my future is going.

I haven’t felt this bad in a long, long time. I went to a Buddhist Temple today for a teaching… They talked about the importance of having no attachment to anything and finding inner peace, but this sounds scary and nearly impossible. Those feelings end up making me feel even lower because I begin to feel guilty about the possibility that I might not be able to change my life.

I feel stuck and scared. I want to strengthen my ability to observe my thoughts instead of reacting to them. My patience is wearing thin, though. I’m worried about going back to work and functioning. I have so much worry eating me up, that I’m unsure what I can do.

I have moments where I feel great and normal, but then it seems like they slip away and the bad feelings creep back.

Victoria
- This reply was modified 6 years, 4 months ago by Victoria.
July 2, 2018 at 4:24 am #215077

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Victoria:

You wrote: “they’re (your parents) a wonderful support system. They eat well and exercise… my inability to fully be an adult without bouts of much needed emotional support from my parents” –

It may help to examine this support system. Have your parents always been a support system to you, as a child, that is?

In other words, as a child growing up did you feel visible to your parents, seen, heard and understood, significant in their lives?

anita

August 12, 2018 at 11:16 am #221241

Sylvie
Participant

Hello Victoria,

I’m coming upon this thread already a month and a half after your last entry, so hopefully you’re finding your groove again. I thought I’d share my 2 cents, based on my own life experience. First of all, there is a larger context in which your anxiety/depression is happening, and it is important to understand that. My spiritual teacher always said “environment is stronger than will.”, meaning no matter how well you try to feel, for example, if you are surrounded by negativity, it will be a huge challenge to be positive. And these days there is no shortage of negativity going around! It takes a lot more discernment today to make sure you feed your mind material supportive of your emotional health, than it did a generation or two ago. Make a conscious effort to choose uplifting thoughts, words, news (yes, they are out there!) Teachers like Tolle, Adyashanti or Krishnamurthi have had a powerful effect on me, just reading or listening to their words.

Secondly, you say “I want to strengthen my ability to observe my thoughts instead of reacting to them.” Kudos to you for having that desire. It will save you! 🙂 In my experience, this is something one cultivates daily. There is no shortcut. Joining a meditation group, or doing an online course would provide a wonderful support. Again, environment is stronger than will! it’s about choosing our tribe wisely. Already, you seem to have wonderful parents.

All the best xo

Sylvie Barthelemy
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